Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Need some cheering up

im having a really rough day. dh and i are seperated and im really missing him. all i ever wanted to do was to be married, happy and have a family. i dont think thats ever going to happen for me. i dont want to be divorced again and im feeling really pessimistic about it. its hard when your head tells you one thing and your heart tells you something else. i dont want to be alone and what if i never find anyone else? i just dont think dh can change what he needs to for us to go back to him. i cant take the verbal abuse any longer.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Jun. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Sweetie...you are gonna have bad days & this sure sounds like one of them.Verbal abuse is NOT love & you & your kids deserve to be loved & happy.You will find someone when the time is right.Heal from this first & before you know it,you'll be ready for love again.If you would like to meet others who are going through divorce look up a group through divorcecare.org.I think this class will help you & there are classes for your children too.Good luck!!
    robin2708

    Answer by robin2708 at 9:32 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • hugs

    jmpj8107

    Answer by jmpj8107 at 9:34 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • blowing kisses

    perthmumof2

    Answer by perthmumof2 at 9:39 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Ending a relationship, even when its the best thing for everyone involved, is hard. You will second guess yourself for a while. But it will and does get better. There are much worse things than being single. Good Luck to you.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:41 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • hugsHang in there!! You have to whats right for you and the kids. That is NOT love...it is abuse. You don't want the kids thinking that that is love!! Be Strong Mama!!

    mkdirector2011

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 9:41 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • You are not alone. Recognize that. Surround yourself with positive people. You have children; try to focus on them. Obviously you have a computer so find a game, a contest, a new friend to "talk" to. You've taken a first step by posting here. You are going to feel lonely, but you can deal with your loneliness with distractions. You should also be consulting a professional. Remind yourself that no one deserves abuse of any kind. Take one day at a time; don't worry about the "what ifs." Nothing in life comes easy, but you can make it because you are a human being and, first and foremost, a woman!
    rosiemendo

    Answer by rosiemendo at 9:49 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I went through 3 relationships I ended because they went good for me or my kids. Then about a year and a half ago I found a man I get along with 100% and he treats me and my 3 kids that are not his biological Like royalty . You too will find someone that will treat you like his beauty queen. It's just hard.
    countrymama87

    Answer by countrymama87 at 9:49 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Have you told him how much you miss him? Or does he think you're doing just fine without him? I also wonder if he's not missing you as much as you are missing him. If he loves you, the answer is yes. If I were where you are today, I would be doing everything possible to save my marriage. Some things in life are worth fighting for, and my marriage has always definitely been one of those things. I don't know what verbal abuse is, but I do know that when under pressure, we can all say and do things that are not so nice. Early on in my marriage of now more than 46 years, I knew which buttons of my husband's to push to make him act ugly, and I pushed them. It somehow made me feel good to know that I could make him act badly. I learned better. I also learned that I could speak the positive words to him that he needed to hear, and he was a different man. A wife has power. How are you using yours? If you haven't been, start!
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:11 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Are you happier with him or when your not around him? Do you cry when your around him? Do you feel bad? Do you have to hold your tongue and walk on egg shells?
    You know this answer hun, walk away. There is someone out there for you. Breathe..relax and take it one day at a time. I know thats easier said than done..BUT trust me..thats how it works :)

    Once you recover from your relationship...find some inner peace and happiness you will attract what you put out :)
    MissyNewMama

    Answer by MissyNewMama at 10:17 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I'm sorry you are feeling this way. I too am pretty much in the same boat, although not separated. I don't want to fail another relationship again either, so just deal with his cheating. You WILL find someone else if that is what you are looking for. You need to evaluate what is best for you. Is the abuse worth it to be in the relationship or are you generally more happy without it? Not at this very moment, but for the most part. Just remember, going back usually gives them license to do it again, and sometimes more because they know you forgave them the first time, sometimes they think you are needy and they have you there.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 10:17 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN