Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should I put the dads name on the Birth Certificate!?!?! Does it really have a big part in the custody!?!

Hi my name is cassie. I have been struggling with this question ever since the father of my unborn child told me he would be taking me to court for custody after the baby is born. This is my first child and being a young parent it is overwhelming has it is. So could you give me some advice.
Thanks much!!!

Answer Question
 
trufaith

Asked by trufaith at 9:33 PM on Dec. 10, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • Well I'm not really sure. I'm sure that he will have to have a paternity test done to prove paternity of your child. And that will prove without question whether he's the father or not. So you won't really be able to hide it. I wish I could give you more advice but I've never been in that situation.

    Good luck though. I hope that you're able to get the advice you need to help you out. Sounds like he's gonna be a dick about this.
    munch12502

    Answer by munch12502 at 9:36 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • No advice . You don't have to put anyones name on the birth certificate except yours. HOWEVER, upon a proven paternity, he can take you to court and request a name change and more than likely it will get granted.
    As far as custody goes, well, that depends on the situation, why he is trying to take you to court. He has to have a damned good reason ((plus evidence)) that you are unfit as a mother to take the baby away from you.
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 9:37 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • Unfit or unable to provide basic necessities to the child.
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 9:37 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • My daughter is 4 months old and when I researched this before she was born this is what I found:

    If the father is not at the birth to sign an Acknowledgment of Paternity form then he will have to take you to establish paternity which would then give him parental rights.

    Hope this helps and good luck!!!
    anglgrl03

    Answer by anglgrl03 at 9:41 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • If I were in your position, I wouldn't put him on the certificate. Why make it easy for him. Make him pay out the nose with paternity tests, legal fees etc. if he wants rights. If you hit him with inconveniences he may back off thinking it's not worth the hassle. It also wouldn't hurt for you to talk with an attorney with a free consultation about your rights etc. Remember, knowledge is power.
    jeni2671

    Answer by jeni2671 at 9:48 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • I wouldn't put him on the b/c either. I'd make him go thru the courts and have the DNA test done. Once he finds out how expensive everything is, he might be singing a different tune. No judge is going to give a newborn to a father without absolute proof the mother isn't able financially and emotionally to care for a child (and has no family/friends/public assistance) to help her. One way to assure that doesn't happen is to choose to breast feed. He couldn't have the child more than like an hour at a time if you do (my baby breast fed whenever she wanted, but was always within 2 hours till she was several months old). Is he wanting you to come back to him or something and that's why he's threatening to take the child from you?
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 10:33 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • I just went through this, and am going through the aftermath of it right now... my ex never had a doubt that he was the father and insisted he be on the BC, well then threatened to take him away from me, but he CANNOT do that unless he proved me unfit or unable to care for my son properly and that will not ever happen. Well now the SOB wants to give up all rights.. just be careful honey! If he requets a paternity though there really istn much you can do about his rights to the baby as far as visitation and such... good luck, stay strong!! :)
    SuzetteR

    Answer by SuzetteR at 10:49 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • he doesn't get custody just by putting his name on the birth certificate but you sure can get child support by doing so. i didn't put dads name on sons birth certificate but wished i had cause after all he is the father of the child regardless of how good a father he is. that is like saying that this baby is not part of that man even though biologically he is. that would make the boy/girl feel like there is something wrong with that side of the genes and that they are not good enough. it's almost like talking bad about their dad in front of them or at least the same type of damage of doing something like that. does that make sense? at least these are the laws in az. so you need to check with your local courts. the self service counter at the courts might be able to answer your questions. custody and visitation are to different things.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:13 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • also i wanted to add that it's not good to withhold the baby from having a relationship with their father if that is your reasoning behind all this. your child would resent you for it. the mother always gets custody unless it's obvious you are not a good parent.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:15 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • Actually, if he is on the birth certificate and you are not married, then you both have EQUAL rights. That means that he can take the baby adn there is nothing that you can do about it b/c you have no court order. Do not put him on there if he has threatened. I am going through this right now. My son's dad is a cop and knows the laws. I wouldn't let him sign the affidavit and filed an order to establish parentage and a parenting plan
    a_and_j_momma

    Answer by a_and_j_momma at 12:00 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN