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Has anyone out there tried the program "The Total Transformation"? It is a set of CDs & DVDs for parents to help with difficult teen behaviors.

I need help with my 15 yr old daughter who has become very willfull, thinks she can do whatever she wants, hates to hear the word 'no', & is generally miserable to live with.
I am so depressed every day no knowing what 'her highness' will be like. We are a 2 parent home; we don't drink alcohol, we put our kids first, do (I think) a lot for them. I don't understand why she thinks 'there is no love or caring in our house'. I don't know what to do. Yelling, grounding, taking things away -- have not helped. I get her crap attitude (although she does not think she gives an attitude). I thought MAYBE this program? I am considering counseling, but time, scheduling & money is an issue.

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StressedMom15

Asked by StressedMom15 at 10:36 AM on Jun. 9, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 2 (9 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • i have a 14yr sd that we have full custody of..she became like this a few yrs ago..and progressed quickly into other things..last oct she was sent to a boot camp and has just come home in march..she hasnt learned a darn thing..she has also been to therapy for 3yrs a total waste of money..she has been evaluated by everyone under the sun too..my next step with her is sending her to live with her mom..since the camp was a failure i just dont see any videos doing any good...i think you can get a free trial on them though for like 30days..maybe you could do that see how it goes
    jorjiegirl

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 11:09 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • that sounds like me when i was 15. i came from a single parent home, with addictions and dysfunctions, so what i'm trying to say is she sounds like a typical 15 year old, as much as it sucks. she's dealing with the raging hormones, stupid drama at school that she probably doesnt want to talk to parents about (cuz like wtf do we know, right?) and all in all trying to find herself and be accepted. my mom got sober when I was 15, which is when she decided i'm out of control, i need therapy, i need help, i've been sent away to 'behavior adjustment camps' which really just made things worse. I promise you its a phase, an unfortunate and possibly long phase. what helped was when my mom and i would go out and get our nails done and go shopping and just talk. she probably just wants to feel as if you are interested in her life without feeling pushed to open up. it took time but eventually things settled between my mom and i.
    Axils_mommy0120

    Answer by Axils_mommy0120 at 7:16 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • (continued) as much as it may suck, and you probably feel like your walking on eggshells, just take cues from her. i would recomend asking simple questions that would make her open up. no matter what us crazy teenage girls say, we do NOT hate you and we do want a friendship. if she's pissy, just ignore her. when she's in a good mood, have some carefree chitchat, and open up a little to her too. tell her some stupid 'when i was your age' stories and see what kind of stories she tells you. ask her what she thinks about a certain topic. its going to be up and down, but this worked for my mom and i very well. i hope this helps and feel free to message me if you want to talk more or have questions :] i'm a 20 year old mom to a 4 month old.
    Axils_mommy0120

    Answer by Axils_mommy0120 at 7:21 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I remember going through this with one of my teenage daughters. It left me feeling as though I was doing something wrong as a parent, and I took it so personal. We too are a 2 parent home, drug free etc... Bottom line, kids go through a bratty stage (I have all girls and they are the worst) Stand your ground!!! Don't you cave for ANYTHING! When my daughter went through this I got alot of grief from other parents as well, and I've stood my ground. FINALLY, I see the fruit from all my hard work. I'm a tough love kind of mom, and it has paid off. I used the dvd's "8 things every kid should leave home knowing" by Joe McGee . He is a great teacher. Best to you as journey through this.
    momma-t42

    Answer by momma-t42 at 10:11 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • If she's always getting grounded or yelled at, I can see where she would say there is no love or caring. Unfortunately, there comes a time when punishments don't work anymore. They don't learn anything from them, and they're just an inconvenience. In that case, I would suggest letting natural consequences take over. She wants to be treated like an adult? Fine, but that means fully. Give her just enough rope to hang herself with. She wants to stay up all night? That's great, but she has responsibilities and as an "adult", she can't get out of them because she's tired. Same wants to drink? Well, when she gets busted by the police, don't come crying to you to bail her out of jail. Don't let the rules go out the window, of course, but experience is a great teacher. Having to fix her own problems because of her own stupidity will make her see that there's a reason you have rules. Express how dissapointed you are. Just a thought. :)
    GlowWorm889

    Answer by GlowWorm889 at 1:33 AM on Jun. 15, 2011

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