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Do you believe this to be true?

I read a quote this morning and it got me thinking of my own current situation. The quote was, "Men are what their mothers made them." I got pregnant not long after getting together with my DD's father. He seemed like the perfect guy and assured me he was going to be an amazing father. After having her, things rang true, until true colors on his part and his mothers part showed. I started seeing how she LITERALLY babied him. If he needed his birth certificate, social security card, doctors appointment, insurance card, ANYTHING, he had to go to her and present GOOD reason before getting it and then bring it back. She pays his car insurance, child support, now his restitution since being on probation, gives him money. Does not care that he left me on my ass with a small child. He took everything from me and came flashing HUNDREDS to me the other day but didn't give me anything for our DD. Apparently his $25 A MONTH that his MOM pays in CS is supposed to support this little girl on his part. I've been threw hell and back and I wish I knew how this was BEFORE I got involved. He never comes to see our DD, he's too busy smoking weed. I can't help but agree with this quote because she made him this way! I know there are good men with terrible mothers but can anyone relate with this quote?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:44 AM on Jun. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (17)
  • yes...i totally agree with it.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:46 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • My XH was a result of both his mom and dad. They went thru a divorce and used him as a rope. So he gets some things from his dad and some from his mom.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 10:46 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • yep..most of the ones that have been spoon fed have an underlying issues 'mom'...sounds like you are alot better off without his behind and i think you def need a cs increase thats just nuts $25 a month is not gonna cut it
    jorjiegirl

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 10:46 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I've never heard that quote...but reading it now and reading what you've said..in your case, I'd have to agree. Man Oh Man...what a yucky situation to be in. :( Sorry your going through that.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 10:47 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I believe in some ways, yes it is definitely true! I have a friend, who got pregnant with her boyfriend. He was SO good to her & all that til the baby was born. She had to work & he was stay at home Dad, ends up abused their son (4months that time) badly. He ends up in jail & all that. His mother.. OH MY. She harasses my friend and threats her all the time, just all stuff she did truly shows her true color along with her son, it is absolutely beyond shocking to her.
    breezymommie

    Answer by breezymommie at 10:50 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Yes, I do believe that
    Moms_Angels1960

    Answer by Moms_Angels1960 at 10:50 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I don't really believe it cause people have their own choices to make. I'm sure it makes it harder for him to be independent when his mom is willing to help him out so much and it's like buying her son's love, affection, attention forever....she'll always have her son! lol I guess you could make the quote true for your situation, but not all...so it's not a universal truth. On the other hand, I find it hard to believe there weren't any red flags of this behaviour when you were dating or whatever....how long had you been going out before you decided to have sex? BAD IDEA. "If he needed his birth certificate, social security card, doctors appointment, insurance card, ANYTHING, he had to go to her and present GOOD reason before getting it and then bring it back" DING DING DING. -rings true about a guy that has NO CLUE how to live life on his own.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:52 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • yes i agree with you - i love my dh but his mom was a typical 50's style sahm... she basicly did everything but wipe his butt when he lived with her - i have had to do amazing things to teach him to clean up after himself. but she did teach him to be a nice person and to be responsible for stuff you start... so it could be worse.. just wish he had some damn chores or soemthing growing up.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 10:59 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Yes, I believe it is true. I also read once that before you marry a man, see how he treats his mother (or in this case, how he's treated by his mother!) and the least important person in his life such as a waitress or something. These give good insight into how he will treat you and your children.
    jmpj8107

    Answer by jmpj8107 at 11:01 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • oh yes.... but heres the thing u cant spend time being pissed at him because believe it or not he isnt worth that much energy. I was in the same situation until I realized this isnt my problem I AM a good mom and dont need no man to justify that. Just know that isnt how u want to raise ur child =)
    sweetsone

    Answer by sweetsone at 11:07 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

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