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Newlywed & Not What It is Suppose to Be...

My husband and I have been married for under a month.
We have a 2 1/2 year old son, and a baby girl on the way.
I know he is stressing over bills and the pregnancy, but I don't feel married.
Besides a new last name, nothing is new.
We barely have sex, and we spend about 4 hours a day together due to his working and sleeping pattern.
Anyone have the same problem?

Answer Question
 
AeroJuicy91

Asked by AeroJuicy91 at 11:35 AM on Jun. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 4 (56 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • its a phase all newelyweds go thru it will pass in time..i have even see where it lasted a few months..congrats on your marriage and on your upcoming new mommyhood!
    jorjiegirl

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 11:37 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Im not married, but i have similar issues, just that we have an 11 weeker, he works till 8pm, comes home, eats, holds baby, does school work and if im luck sex is a part of it.. been with him for 4 yrs... not like that all the time but frequent
    mommyoftristan

    Answer by mommyoftristan at 11:38 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • For starters, if you have been living together before you were married, not much is going to change.

    And being able to spend 4 hours a day together is what most people get if one of them is working and more than most people get if someone is working a wierd shift.
    other_mother

    Answer by other_mother at 11:38 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • That's because you have a young child and another on the way. You aren't starting off as Newly weds. It does get better, but it will take a lot of work on both your parts
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:39 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • How do you think it is supposed to be ?? Maybe your idea is not reality with a small child and one on the way... Like previous poster stated, if you lived together before you got married not much will change from just saying "I do"... Find out what it is you want, and then if it is possible(realistic) to have and work together to get there...
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 11:56 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • What did you think "married" was supposed to feel like? You already had years and a child with the guy. There was nothing new for you to adjust to like you would if you fell in love, got married then moved in and had a family together.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:58 AM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Sounds like to me the only thing that changed in your relationship was a ring and a sheet of paper. So, you kind of skipped the "Newlywed" part of the marriage.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 12:02 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • It depends how long you were together before you got married. My husband and I were together 5 years before we got married and we didnt have a newlywed phase after we got married. Everything stayed the same except for my last name and a piece of paper saying we were legally married. We didnt even have sex on our wedding night because we were both so exhausted. If you've been with someone for awhile and living togheter before you get married you are not going to have a newlywed phase and nothing is going to change. You already had that newlywed phase when you first got together. Dont worry about it and things will get better. Marriage takes a lot of work from both people. My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years, together 11 total and thats saying a lot since we were together since I was 16 and he was 17.
    SMG1120

    Answer by SMG1120 at 1:14 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Because getting married isn't magic. The newlywed feeling comes from not having had a relationship of that kind and your relationship growing. You already have a family with this guy and if you were already living together the only thing that really changed was now you have a ring and certificate, and probably more bills from the recent wedding.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 1:48 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • This is common. I don't know why people who get married think it is like throwing some switch and everything will be different. It is a party then same shit different day. Work on the marriage, not concentrate on being married..get it?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:25 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

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