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3 Bumps


Women who had abortions or gave up their child in the past.....should they be able to have children in the future? what are your true thought about the situation

I dont have a problem with it but the only thing is (I was watching true life and the girl on the show she was adopted then she wanted to find her mother, she ended up finding her but she found out that she had 4 other kids after she gave her up for adoption "and the reason she gave her up was because she was poor and couldnt afford to take care of her" but when she found her she was still poor but with 4 other kids)

So thats what gets me upset but do what you have to do im not mad at you and I will not judge

How about you what are your feelings on this subject?

Answer Question

Asked by KColeman90 at 1:13 PM on Jun. 9, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 19 (6,783 Credits)
Answers (23)
  • i would be upset too if i were in that girls position..i think that if they were too poor or in the position the first time to not keep them then they should of took the appropriate measures to ensure it didnt happen again..that must be a horrible feeling

    Answer by jorjiegirl at 1:18 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I know the girl might feel rejected but if her birth mother is still struggling and poor than I think she was lucky to be given up for adoption. What people do is their own choice and I try not to judge. It makes my heart ache when a woman terminates her pregnancy because she was irresponsible and didn't have safe sex though. I have seen it alot around where I live. These girls think that it's a form of birth control to have unsafe sex and terminate their pregnancy over and over. I think there should be more awareness on safe sex. The more the better.

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 1:18 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • If they want children in the future, I do think they should be able to have them.
    In that situation maybe when the mom had her first that she gave up for adoption...she really felt she couldnt raise a child being poor and only wanted what she thought was best and by the time # 2 came along, she had a different frame of mind.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:19 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • My mom was adopted out and always wonders why her two older sisters weren't. I believe my biological grandmother had more children, but this was during the time when there was no birth control. Plus my biological grand mother was a prostitute in Okinawa (big time G.I. base) so I doubt there was any control over having babies. But today, if a woman gave up a child for adoption it was probably because she was too young and not mature enough to handle the job of being a mother. She wanted to have babies on her own terms. That happens. It shouldn't mean that she didnt' love the child she gave up. Obviously she did if she knew she couldn't take care of her and wanted someone else to take care of her for her. So I don't think it's selfish at all. It's selfish if she kept having babies just to adopt them out.

    Answer by Imogine at 1:21 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • You ladies need to read "Bumped" by Megan McCafferty. It's a great book that raises questions about teen pregnancy, surrogacy and adoption. It's a fiction novel, but it does bring up those issues. CHeck it out!

    Answer by Imogine at 1:23 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Ill check it out thanks!

    Comment by KColeman90 (original poster) at 1:25 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Just because someone isn't in a place to be a proper mother today doesn't mean she shouldn't have the right to be a parent in the future. I had a friend who aborted a few years back, and today is an awesome mother. She was in a HIGHLY abusive relationship, on the run from him when he didn't find her and lock her up, and ended up pregnant while he was raping her... When he discovered she was pregnant he told her it wasn't his and if she didn't "take care of it" he would do it for her and "get rid of her" at the same time. So, she aborted out of fear and out of the fact that she knew he meant it. I took her in fact, and I completely supported her then, as I do now. I still believe it saved her life!



    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:30 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Running didn't do it, Hiding didn't do it, a PFA didn't do it, the Police wouldn't do it, Aborting her baby so that she could fight for her freedom didn't DO IT, but it helped! Just because a woman aborts, doesn't mean she's "bad" or "evil" it simply means she wasn't in a position to give that child a decent life, and she knew it.

    If they get to a point where their situation changes, many of them can, and do make wonderful parents!

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:30 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I definitley think there are people who should not choose to get pregnant...but I'm really against laws or government making that decision for's just too much of a scary slippery slope idea.

    Answer by Dkhilly at 1:32 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Maybe she was so heartbroken after giving up her first daughter she couldn't stand the thought of doing it again.

    And what are you trying to get at by asking if they should be "allowed" to hve children in the future? I don't think you realize that abortion and adoption aren't easy or convenient. I don't think a woman who has done either would ever willingly put herself in that situation again thinking there is an easy solution at hand. Not saying that accidents never happen, that no one ever has more than one unwanted pregnancy that gets adopted out or terminated, but it sure isn't becuase either the "easy way out."

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 1:33 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

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