Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Notarizing a child custody agreement....would you get the father sign it?

i know a friend of mind just put it in writing that she has full custody all that good stuff of her child and i was thinking of doing this for legal issues just in case. my dd father is in a different state and has no visitations in writing ect. and basically i never went to court to do all that custody visitation because truthfully i do not want her back and for between states she is too young right now. anyways, he has threatened to just take her and i was like well if you really wanted to do anything you would of done it already. i know its been so long but i just been thinking alot about making a will ect and if i do not have legal custody i can not legally make a will with her in it and name who i want her to be with. not that i am dying but you never know what might happen. i just don;t want it to ever go to court and him be able to get her on the grouds that we both have the same rights. i have raised her for 2yrs and he has seen her a handful of times and does not make an effort. you can say all your want that he is her father blah blah blah. but dna does not make a father. anyways, so he is visiting soon and i was thinking of writing a document and getting him to sign it so this way when it goes to be notarized his signature is on it and he can't fight it if anything would to happen.

what do you all think?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on Jun. 9, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (8)
  • I don't think an agreement like that would hold up in court. You should consult a lawyer.

    Answer by andrea96 at 2:51 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I doubt it would hold up in court. If anything were to happen to you, chances are since he is the biological parent, she would go to him.

    Answer by MrsMWF at 2:51 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • but there are documents online that you can do yourself this way so why would it not hold up in court. i have looked it up and my friend did it so it has to have some barring. i have done research so i was just thinking should i just sign it and get it notarized or should i get him involved. he does not want to raise her so i was just thinking alot of wills ect.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:57 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Even if you have full custody, unless there is a reason why he shouldn't get her (like abuse) if something were to happen to you, he would probably get her.

    Answer by MrsMWF at 3:03 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • that is why i am saying for him to sign something saying he does not want her so i can go get a will done. something that says i have legal custody and to name anyone in my will to get her. that is why i am asking. if something is in writing i would think it would hold up in court. i do not think anyone is really understanding the question. if you get someone to sign something to say he wont fight it in court that i have all legal custody meaning i have a legal right to state in my will to name a benficiary to my child then it would hold up in court. i should of just wrote that in the question.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:12 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • He could still fight it in court if he changes his mind and since he is the biological father, chances are he would get her if something happened to you. I understand what you are saying, but if one parent dies, if the other parent is alive and fit to be a parent, then they would probably get custody of the child.

    Having full custody does not mean he completely gives up all parental rights. He still has rights as a parent and if you die, his rights as a parent would take precedence over someone else.

    Answer by MrsMWF at 3:24 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • HIs signature on it wouldn't mean a thing unless he signs it in front of the notary. You can't have hims sign it then take it in.

    Notarized documents don't hold up in family court. The only people with the authority to make a legallly binding child custody agreement are family court judges. If it's not signed by a judge all you have is a piece of paper. If you friend thinks her notorized document will get her anywhere she's dead wrong.

    Yes, there are instances where a notorized document will do. Family law is not one of them. Law is not a 'one size fits all' thing. That's why lawyers only practice in one area of the law, personal injury, business, criminal...because they all have different rules an no lawyer could learn all of it.

    You can get the forms from the local courthouse, fill them out, both have them notorized and file them yourself. Most places you can even have the filing fees waived...

    Answer by desert_diva at 5:10 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • if your income is low enough.

    If he'd agree to a notorized letter it wouldn't be any more difficult to get him to agree to the document. And if you both agree the only thing the judge does is sign it when it crosses his/her desk.

    You can't will children, they aren't property. You can express a preference but, unless proven unfit, Dad will always be next in line for custody.

    Answer by desert_diva at 5:13 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.