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What would you do?

Our 17 yr old DD asked to have a friend spend the night last night. It is summer vacation, it is hotter than a pepper sprout here and we have a pool. So we said sure. The girls asked if they could walk to a local carry out for some junk food and we told them they could go. Prior to their leaving, DD's friends purse was sitting on our living room floor up against the sofa. The girls left. A few minutes later our oldest DD who is 20 came into our bedroom with a plastic baggie filled with a small amount of pot. She said our Golden Retriever was laying on the floor chewing it.
I looked at my DH and said, her friends purse was right on the living room floor before they left...maybe it fell out. When our DD returned, she said it was not hers, and that her friend didn't smoke pot either. She said during the day a boy from our neighborhood was over and was sitting on the couch, maybe it was his and fell out of his pocket.
Well needless to say, we are not happy about her hanging around anybody who smokes pot, nor are we happy that anyone had the nerve to bring that kind of thing into our home. I just don't know what to do about it. Teens lie, we all did it, if we are honest. I believe it was not my daughters, but I am not buying the boy story much.
How would you handle this situation. We flushed the pot btw and said nothing further until we have some time to think about the situation.

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salexander

Asked by salexander at 2:30 PM on Jun. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 26 (28,366 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • You could also use" the is that what really happened becuase we could get you tested to see if you have been smoking pot" Come up with things that might make make her slip up or say things that might make her just fess up.
    ladyb155

    Answer by ladyb155 at 2:37 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I'm not sure what you should do about it, but I remember being 17 and I would almost guarantee you that she at the very least knows whose pot it is. First off, if I was 17 and lost my pot I would be calling around my friends to see where I lost it. Second off, among my friends (even those I was not that close to) I had a pretty good idea of who smoked, or drank or whatever. I was not a party girl and stayed out of trouble, but I wasn't exactly a saint either. And while you don't want to assume your child is guilty by association, on the other hand, birds of a feather flock together and with peer pressure it's highly unlikely that she's completely oblivious to it. I would talk to her about it some more, let her know you are sure there is more to the story that she's not sharing. And ask her what would have happened had it been a child who found it and ate it and not the dog? Maybe your 20 year old could talk to her, too. GL.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:48 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I would do nothing. It happened, its over, you will never get the true and real story so let it go.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 4:15 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • There really isn't much you can do except educate. Let her know what kind of trouble she can get in if she gets caught with it?
    mommydinasaur

    Answer by mommydinasaur at 4:36 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I would say to her (ONLY IF SHE IS NORMALLY A RULE FOLLOWING GIRL AND OVER ALL TRUSTWORTHY) that this is her ONE free pass. Lay it out what will happen next time, and remind her of your family values. Tell her since you can not prove what happen this is the one time pass. Something like this happens again your going to BOTH parents... and she too will have a consequence since I find it highly unlikely she wouldnt know her friend smokes pot;.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:59 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Sorry to say this, but your daughter has probably smoked pot or is smoking pot. You can get a home drug test kit at the store and test her, see if she fesses up. It was probably her friends...or it could have been the boys, like they said, or its your daughters. Idk...honestly, if I caught my kid like that, I'm not sure if I would be mad exactly. I smoked pot in high school, and my mother didn't get mad at me or anything, and I got over it. It was like a thrill to be a rebel, but...because my mom didn't get mad, I don't smoke. My best friend in high school on the other hand would get grounded constantly for pot, and hes now a low life scum bag that I don't talk to anymore. I don't want to tell you how to raise your kid, but kids do it, and they have easy access to it, and regardless of what you you say..they're going to do it. I wouldn't get mad, but be disappointed, sorta guilt them into not smoking it.
    monstersmommy20

    Answer by monstersmommy20 at 11:08 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

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