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Advice on dealing with the exwife trying to turn the children against me & cause problems

I am dealing with exwife & there are 2 children involved. She is always trying to make the kids misbehave & telling them they do not have to listen to me. She has almost turned the children against me, by lies. She told the children I am the reason they split up & everything & she is very decietful, & the children will not tell on her, by saying their mother said these things to them. The children are 7 & 8. I am in NC & my fiance has no extra money to get a attorney to carry her to court to make her stop. He pays alot to her in child support. Any advice on a support or a way to leagaly stop her from destroying the children with this brainwashing.

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jennifer1237

Asked by jennifer1237 at 7:02 PM on Jun. 9, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 1 (2 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • It's a form of emotional abuse. You need to find a way to get a lawyer for the sake of the children.
    Bugzmomma

    Answer by Bugzmomma at 7:04 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • There is no legal way to get her to do stop. Your best bet? Going out for a cup of coffee and burying the hatchet. She cannot be court ordered to stop expressing her feelings, even if they are false and wrong.
    Ataemommy

    Answer by Ataemommy at 7:08 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • a attorney wants thousands of dollars upfront & thats just the start.We just don"t have it have of his paycheck goes to child support
    every week, which is a unfair amount of money...
    jennifer1237

    Comment by jennifer1237 (original poster) at 7:11 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Child support cannot be unfair based on a simple math calculation.
    Ataemommy

    Answer by Ataemommy at 7:14 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I wish it was that simple. She is a very controlling person, when her & my fiance was together she controlled him, he done whatever she said. Now that shes lost that form of control, she uses the children to try control him. She wants him back, just for the money only reason. She tried to use the children for this, when it backfired, she had the kids behaving at their worse. I love these childen & no child should go threw this, this is a form of abuse.Iam trying to find some way of a organization out there to help.
    jennifer1237

    Comment by jennifer1237 (original poster) at 7:16 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Like I said - taking her out to coffee can do a world of good. It's the most uncomfortable 30 minutes of your life, but it does wonders.
    Ataemommy

    Answer by Ataemommy at 7:18 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • If they are denying she is saying it it would be hard to prove. Kids do have minds of their own and may have come up with this on their own. My own son whose now 11 to my shock asked me if his dad and me would get back together since his dad and his fiance has split up. I am remarried mind you. So unless you have proof I would not jump to any conclusions.
    If you dont have money to go to court then well all you can do is document. In time if she is telling them things they will tell you. I m in NC too. To go back to court costs $3k-$5k for custody matters. I am in the middle of one myself as we speak.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 7:26 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • If child support is so high why doesn't he go to court to seek an adjustment? Is it possible to speak to legal aid out there about discounted legal services? What about finding a mediator?
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 7:39 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

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