I have 3 DD (11, 13 and almost 15). My ex and I are divorced (about 6 years now) and he just moved back to town a year and a half ago (before then, he came to see the girls twice a year for a day or so each time). He also got remarried 2 1/2 years ago. Now that he lives in town, he has my girls one weekend a month. The problem is my girls are always complaining about how much work they do over there. He married his new wife because she was pregnant, she has the baby who is now about 2 and then got pregnant with twins who are now 3 months old. So my girls tell me that they spend the whole weekend cleaning the house and taking care of the babies so she can sleep (she also has a 4 year old from another relationship). Their dad has started working most weekends since his new wife doesn't want to get a job or reduce their spending (like I did when we were married, not much money and 3 small children). He even asked to stop paying child support for my children because of all of that. I told him if he wants to take me back to court to try to get a adjustment, that's up to him. We went and because he has been working extra weekends and because child support hasn't been changed in the 6 years since we have been divorced, the judge actually said he owed more, though I waived that and said he could keep paying what he was paying. Anyway, my DD's hate going over there because of all the work they do. Now, I am not a parent who thinks children shouldn't help out around the house during the summer, they each do about 30- 45 min of cleaning, not including their bedrooms and laundry, but them doing all the housework AND taking care of the babies while they are SUPPOSED to be spending time with their dad is just ridiculous. I have tried to talk to him and he says "so what, they should sit on their butts while my wife cleans the house and takes care of the children"? So I am thinking about taking him to court and asking that he get them every other Sat but he HAS to be with them and they can't be used as maids or babysitters. My other idea is to add up what the girls do over there (above and beyond what they should be) and send them a bill for each one of my DD's for their services. I mean, my almost 15 year old and 13 year olds babysit and get paid for it. If they are watching these kids 20 hours in one weekend they damn well better be getting paid for it, even my 11 year old ends up watching the 4 year old. What would you do in this situation? Now I get that SM is overwhelmed and so is their dad but they shouldn't but used as maids or babysitters for a home they don't even live in.Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 7:03 PM on Jun. 9, 2011 in Parenting Debate
Answer by gemgem at 7:07 PM on Jun. 9, 2011
Answer by Bugzmomma at 7:09 PM on Jun. 9, 2011
Answer by MissyNewMama at 7:09 PM on Jun. 9, 2011
Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 7:09 PM on Jun. 9, 2011
I would have right of first refusal put in even with her being married to him and as pp said they can testify at this age to what is going on. Best of luck.
Answer by Alanaplus3 at 7:10 PM on Jun. 9, 2011
Answer by MeandMyBabes at 7:27 PM on Jun. 9, 2011
Next question overall
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