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3 Bumps

I think I'm done.

This past weekend I was sick and so was my SO's ex..she had to go to the hospital so thier 2 kids came over here...fri-tues...well they never asked me...never asked if I was okay with watching their kids being sick myself,but whatever it didn;t bother me until I found that his mom would have come down and because he is not talking to his mom he told his ex to say no..seriously? He didnt have to see her or anything and he took his son to the hospital to visit his mom...why they even knew she was going to the hospital was beyond me they are 4 and thier mother had cancer so she was in and out of the hospital alot and their son worries everytime she goes. anyways...he also had to feed her dog and stuff so most the weekend I was stuck here with 4 kids while being sick and now he is sick and expects to come home and go straight to sleep or go to his ex's and relax away from my kids...I am soo sik of being put last...this weekend he proved it's him his ex and his kids before me...his kids I can understand but Fri. he went over there and when he came home he said what did you expect me to come here and watch your kids so you could sleep? Serioulsy? yeah that is what I expected I watch his kids all the damn time and just because I'm a SAHM doesn't mean he can walk all over me...I don;t even get money...I have to ask for it which I never do or ask him to get what i need. He also said he knew i ws sick bt he knew she was probably sicker..which she wa,but he is with ME...he could have picked his kids up and left her puking by herself...I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but I'm so over it all!!!! I just need to find the right time to tell him

Answer Question
 
happymama02

Asked by happymama02 at 7:29 PM on Jun. 9, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (3,162 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • oh she also never once called me tp thank me or ask how i was doing knowing i was watching her kids
    happymama02

    Comment by happymama02 (original poster) at 7:31 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I would tell him now... while he is sick. I would also make sure that my kids and I were nice and loud while he tries to rest. Put your foot down. Make sure he knows you are not a built in sitter for his children. He is not respecting you nor your children and you deserve better.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 7:33 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • You really do sound cold hearted. The mother has cancer and your bitching that their son went and visited her? Seriously? You married him knowing he had other kid(s) you can't just expect him to say to the mother of his other kids to piss off when she had to go into the hospital . I understand you are sick but you no not have cancer. Give the other mother a damn break. If you needed help then YOU should have called his mom.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 7:34 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Is your children's father in the picture so he could have helped out?? If so next time have him over to help you with the kids. I bet that goes over real well.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 7:34 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • She doesn't have cancer anymore hasn't for 2 yrs. now,but still has to go get checked out and gets pneumonia alot and has to have back surgeries alot as well...no my kids dad really isn't in the picture in that way although he did call and check on me and the kids a couple times...but he's an alcoholic which is why I left him. It wasn't even the fact that he took his son to see her,butt he fact that he would go feed the dogs and go see her and be gone for 6 hrs. the hospital is 30 min. away.

    happymama02

    Comment by happymama02 (original poster) at 7:40 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Hell I don;t think it would have been a big deal if he would have taken both his kids...my kids will chill out when they are not here and vis-versa and his DD does not listen to me at all and my voice was gone...so that was hard and he never once thanked me himself either.

    happymama02

    Comment by happymama02 (original poster) at 7:42 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • This seems like a trend for some men. The excuse is that she is the mother of his children and will do whatever for her because of that. If she is too sick with cancer, or through the recovery phase to care for her children, then maybe a temporary custody order needs to be drawn up for someone else to take care of them until she is better. I am also a SAHM with a DH on the road most of the year. If I'm sick too bad so sad. I did get to finally lay down with my migraine earlier, although now it's coming back. But I have to stay up and try and get something done. I'm sorry that she is sick, but God does not give us anything that we cannot handle. She can't always depend on you to help out and neither can he. She will have to think about someone else stepping in when she needs help.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 7:45 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Exactly I take care of my kids when I am sick because I don;t have the choice..i chose to have them...I love his kids don't get me wrong but they are not mine and when I'm not sick I don;t mind watching them..I have watched them for HER several times and she has returned the favor once and that was only because I had to get the shot ot she wouldn;t have done it and I feel like I can't say no because he is supporting me and my kids...I love him and that is really the only reason I am still here...I'm slowly realising I will never come before her or his needs....which isn't fair to me or my kids!!!
    happymama02

    Comment by happymama02 (original poster) at 7:56 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • It's hard to leave though...i stayd with my ex who hit me and was verbally abusive and an alcoholic for 5 yrs. because I loved him...and I always talked myself out of it when things were good...thats kind of what I'm doing here...he will neglect me and then be all lovey and everything is wonderful so i stay...this is hard!!!
    happymama02

    Comment by happymama02 (original poster) at 7:59 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Sounds like you need to clear your thoughts and tell him you really need to have a heart to heart with him because this sounds like its eating at you and you dont need that in your head and body. Thats not right. Talk about it and hopefully you two can compromise about a few issues and he understands where your coming from. Hopefully he will be ready to actually hear you and vis versa. I wish you the best of luck and hope you feel better.
    MissyNewMama

    Answer by MissyNewMama at 8:36 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

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