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Is staying at home really better for kids?

I currently am a stay at home mom. I always thought I was doing better because I was "raising" our kids. However, I'm beginning to think that letting the kids stay at home with me while they watch me clean up after them all day isn't doing much for them. I think maybe it would do them better to be with other kids and not in the house with me all day. I try to do things with them but keep getting stuck on chores, paying bills, buying groceries and always cleaning just to keep the house clean enough to live in. It's hard to be as involved with your kids as you want when you stay at home with them & frankly they get bored. It's very busy & sometimes overwhelming work.....not the play in the park and fingerpainting that I dreamed of. Please don't bash.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:46 PM on Jun. 9, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (15)
  • For me, admitting that I am not cut out to be a SAHM was one of the hardest things I had to do as a mom because women get the message they are supposed to want to be home with their kids 24/7..... I hated maternity leave and couldn't wait to go back to work!
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 7:48 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • It is six to one and half a dozen to another. If this is not working for you or for your kids... consider some summer camps or a mothers morning out program ans she if that works better for everyone. You do what works for you. Nothing says you can't try different things either!
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 7:49 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • i don't think "stay at home mom" is "one size fits all". we all do what we have to do. for our family, it makes more sense if i stay home financially, so i make the best out of it. in the beginning it was really boring and i was losing my mind, for several reasons, one being that i didn't really want to give up working. but i've been "sahming' for 2 years now so i've adjusted. the best thing i did was work out a schedule. atleast there is some structure to our day, and i'm not constantly trying to figure out what the hell to do next.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 7:51 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Part of raising your children is also teaching them responsibility. Give them chores appropriate for their ages. You then have time to do the fun things with the kids that you want. What people don't get is that being a mother IS a job. And it is a responsibility. You are teaching your children when you are a SAHM that you have taken on the greatest responsibility you could ever have and you stick it out and do the best with it that you can. If you go to work, you teach them getting money is important and a responsibility to go to work, but the child rearing is farmed out to someone else, demeaning your job as mother.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 7:51 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I have done both and quite frankly I have to wonder if I get more respect out of my kids when I work because I am always moving/going and going...where when I stay at home they see me as a person who gets around to things when I have the ambition there's not that pressed for time feeling when I have all day. Sure as a sahm there is a schedule but it is not hurry or rushed as when I have had my working phases.....make sense? because really being a sahm there is all day and when you are a working mom you don't have all day.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:55 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I am the june cleaver mom... however I feel your pain. My hubby doesnt do anything with us so the house and kids are my problen 24/7..
    by the time you get things that HAVE to be done that day its dinner time and you are just tired..
    I however have set up a day during the week we do something I get everything eles done for the day we have planned for kid only activities!
    lol I chage it up so it could be a monday one week and a thrusday the next week.
    Dork4Fish

    Answer by Dork4Fish at 7:56 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Why do people think that stay at home moms never leave the house? Same with homeschooling. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. It's summertime! My kids are out of school. I have pretty much planned most of the summer with things to do. Going to the Planetarium, sx flags, water park, go to cinemark.com, they have a summer deal where you can pay $5 for a pass to see 10 movies (one per week). They are older movies (like Kung Fu Panda and Madagascar)...how about museums or parks? Being a stay at home mom doesn't have to be boring. The choice is yours. But you have to cook and clean regardless lol. :-)
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 7:56 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I include my little ones in all that I do, except for bills. If I am cleaning then they are beside me, the same with grocery shopping, laundry and so on and so forth. When our chores are finished for the day we do something special, crafts, coloring, sprinkler park and things like that. I can't imagine not staying home but I can imagine that it is not for everyone.
    Melbornj

    Answer by Melbornj at 8:12 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • But you have to think, especially when they are young, would you rather have them influenced by you when they re younger or influenced by other people and other kids.
    ladyb155

    Answer by ladyb155 at 8:14 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Just because you are home doesn't mean you are their maid or slave. I have 5 kids and I've been a SAHM for 11 years. I do NOT clean up after my kids. They make the mess they clean it up. They also help clean up and take care of their baby brother. By 2 they are expected help clean up any messes they make and by 3 they can do it on their own.
    I also don't entertain my kids. That's their job. I'm not a child and have no interest doing kid stuff. Past generations of SAHMs did not do everything for their kids. They expected the kids to do chores and be responsible for themselves and to have lives separate from the parents. That's how I was raised and that's how I'm raising my kids.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 9:31 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

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