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How to make time for sex with a toddler and 1 month old?

I just don't see it happening at this point. :/ By the time both of them happen to be sleeping at the same time I'm so wiped out that I just want to try and relax. Once I finally allow myself to relax (I have to know that our 1 month old is really asleep because she likes to wake up several times before falling into a deep sleep, I'm done cleaning, and doing whatever it was I couldn't do while they were up) I honestly just want to sleep. :[ He'll stay up hours after I pass out and I feel bad. I don't know how to even feel sexy at this point either! Between all the baby poop, having someone attached to my boob 80% of the day, and the fact that I'm still having to wear pads since the postpartum bleeding comes and goes as it pleases, I just don't feel...attractive. Will it get better soon? I'm not the type that is okay with not having an active sexual life, it honestly makes me feel a little depressed. I need that kind of affection. I don't want to be the "one time a month" couple. Is there hope?

Answer Question
 
ours

Asked by ours at 9:54 PM on Jun. 9, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 13 (949 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • wait until they are older
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • It should make you feel good to know that you husband stay up so late because he wants you that much! He thinks your sexy....so start believing it yourself. Put off the cleaning....make time for him....the cleaning can wait!
    cmgIII

    Answer by cmgIII at 9:59 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • one month is a little early you still have a few weeks til you should be having sex! and you may not be able to have it that often unless you would like to fall asleep on your hubby! LOL you need your sleep to take care of the kids all day! good luck to you!
    babymaddy

    Answer by babymaddy at 10:00 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Oh and I forgot to add my other pads, the breastfeeding pads are just SO sexy. Especially when they're filled to the max :|

    Ya my husband is crazy. He still wants me and I feel horrible. We still are loving to each other and cuddle before I fall asleep, but it hasn't gone past that. I hate that I haven't done anything for *him* either. It's just not something I think about for the most part right now. I'm just hoping that it'll get easier, or change.
    ours

    Comment by ours (original poster) at 10:03 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Lol, u can't "make time" for it, because u will always be tired, lol! Even as they get older, it gets better, but ur still tired, u just have sex while being tired! ;) it's hard to muster up the desire to have sex when ur just beat, but talk to ur hubby about how u feel emotionally and physically, let him know that he needs to be patient and that u love and desire him still. Maybe also mention to him some things he does that are extra arousing to u so it sparks ur sexual intrest a little more and sex won't seem to be such a chore! Lastly, I could be wrong but I don't think u should be having sex only 4 weeks post baby!
    PANZONSMOM

    Answer by PANZONSMOM at 10:05 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I know I should be waiting longer than 4 weeks, but I'd like to just have the desire too at least! That in itself would be fun enough for me, us wanting to, but knowing that we can't because that means when we can it'll be all the more worth it. Hopefully once I'm at least out of these gross pads I'll feel a LITTLE better. Plus I'm not totally sure that my stitches has dissolved all the way, so that has made me more cautious for him touching me at all as well. It seemed like we made it work just fine with one kid, with two it's looking like it's going to be a lot harder.
    ours

    Comment by ours (original poster) at 10:11 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • We have 6 kids and when you have a little one, it is hard to find time but yeah, even harder to find the desire / energy. Over the years of your marriage, there'll be times when you have a healthy sex life and other times when, for whatever reason, it wanes for a while, but that's okay. Don't put pressure on yourself or your relationship. Take it as it happens; enjoy your baby, and yeah, talk to hubby about how you're feeling. *hugs and congratulations on the little one!*
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 10:25 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

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