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Why do some states make adoption so hard?

I understand the criminal check/background check but the financial check?? they dont do this every time you give birth

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:07 PM on Jun. 9, 2011 in Adoption

Answers (27)
  • i agree.... i think it's ridiculous

    Answer by mommyof3isme at 11:07 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • They are just looking to get money. They dont see a family wanting a baby they just see dollar signs.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:08 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • I know. They make it so damn hard and there are so many kids that need homes.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:08 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • It's not so much that they are snooping to see how much money you have, they just want to make sure that you are a stable person. The fees for adopting don't change by's going to cost the same to someone who makes $10,000/year as it does to someone who makes $100,000/year.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 11:23 PM on Jun. 9, 2011

  • Personally if I was an expectant woman I would want perspective parents to jump through many many hoops and have every rock and stone turned over. It should be hard. It is not about being well off as AAK posted. I see it as a way for expectant families to understand the perspective adoptive parents have a good history of financial health. Just as in many cases you have to be cancer free for several years before should have a healthy financial physical and check up. I had to go to my doctor who had to state I was physically able to parent. It seems consistant to say perspective parents should also be financially capable to provide for tge needs of this child and there is every reason to continue to believe they can continue. Since lack of available resources is high up on tge list of why expectant families place their child - they probably want stability.

    Answer by frogdawg at 12:13 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Frogdawg said it very well. I will just add a few things. You do not have to be rich to adopt. That is a misconception. We were living comfortably when we were preparing for our first child, but our agency required one parent to be at home full-time. We decided that I would quit my job, even though I made more money than my husband. That would have us living on $17,000 a year after taxes. The agency had no problem with it because we were debt-free other than our house, but they worried that the judge might have a problem with it. He didn't say a word about it. We had to show that we had a plan for how we would make it on that income. The second time, we were still on one income but this time had some debt. Our agency made us draw up a detailed budget and a plan for how we would make it. We were approved to adopt again. We are now on two incomes and doing well, but still not rich.

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 1:39 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Isn't adoption pretty much about a *better* life for us adoptees?
    Wouldn't that include moving to a family with more wealth than our original family?
    Every adoptee should have much better financial opurtunitiy from than where we came from, right?
    And besides- we're worth all the work, worry, stress and money it takes to bring us home :)

    Answer by adopteeme at 4:58 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Your bitterness is spoiling this entire place..your not happy that you were adopted..we get it

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:48 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • As a birth mother I agree with Frowdawg. For me personally I expected my child's parents to be better, to provide more than I ever could. I wanted everything from financial security and stability to the same likes and dislikes as myself and my boyfriend. I checked everything; income, degrees, height, weight, eating habits, pets, disciplinary views, previous marriages, family relationships and personality, hobbies etc. I was told my child would be better without me, I could only guarantee that by chosing a family I felt was best. At the time I thought anyone could love a child but money was something I didn't have. I was told I would never provide enough for him so financial stability was crucial in my decision. 20 years and 2 children later, my views have changed a lot, but I still feel full disclosure to adopt a child is important to a mother who is making such a life altering decision for her and her child.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 10:51 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I have never, not once, thought Adopteeme was bitter about her adoptive family. I think it must be very hard to not know your family of orgin or the circumstances surrounding your conception and placement with your adoptive family. As hard as it is to sometimes be disappointed, hurt, or flat out wounded with tge truth.....not knowing has got to be so much harder. Are your birth parents even alive? Did they go on to live a good life (i think most adoptees want this for their first family)? Are they lost and searching too? What about cultural identity and medical history? So many what and why questions. As well as wanting the access and information that non adoptees have but not all adoptees have currently. The family who raised you is often not the source of resentment (but can be for all children regardless of adoption), it is truth and the right to seek it that is one issue.

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:54 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

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