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How can he be so selfish?....

everytime i wanna buy some clothes or makeup for myself my husband always say we don't have money for that (i know we do) but he uses the money to go out drinking and than he asks me why i don't dress up or fix my hair like i used to??? and he says that buying stuff for baby like food and clothing it's allso for me wth??? ah makes me so angry and makes me feel bad i know he isn't attracted to me anymore and i wish i could do something about it but if he doesn't wanna give me any money to buy stuff ,how? i hate it that he decides everything about money i have nothing to say ok he work for but isn't it supposed to be "our" money not his, right? i don't wanna sound greedy or something but he gives me like max 100 euro a month i can go out with friends(if he allows me) maybe 2 times and for the rest i have to stay home he doesn't even take me out =( i hate it that he makes me depend on him... i wanna work but he doesn't want me to work i'm so sick of it (it's not the only issue we have ...)

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krystina888

Asked by krystina888 at 4:36 AM on Jun. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (63 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Buy the stuff anyway for yourself. You will feel better keeping your appearance up and he will appreciate it too. Why do you have to ask his permission to buy makeup etc?
    blackisbetter

    Answer by blackisbetter at 5:10 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Thats horrible. I say get a job and when you have your money for the things you want, Im sure he will change his tune. I have a friend whos DH is like that.
    jealousymagnet

    Answer by jealousymagnet at 5:44 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Sometimes(MEN) its just in their D.N.A to be selfish....
    MzWhitnei

    Answer by MzWhitnei at 6:03 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • buy the stuff anyway. btw the part that bothered me the most is

    i don't wanna sound greedy or something but he gives me like max 100 euro a month i can go out with friends(if he allows me).
    that is controlling and it ill only get worse.
    notjstasocermom

    Answer by notjstasocermom at 8:08 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • He has all the power and he knows it. If you don't take action now this situation is going to get worse. Get a job/ your own money. If his excuse is that he wants you to stay home with the kids, than start a day care in your house. He is being childish and immature with his 'mine' attitude. You can't change other people dear. That's who he is. You can change yourself and your response to him. Go get your own. He will either realize he doesn't hold all the cards anymore and adjust, or get worse causing one of you to walk out of the relationship. If you do nothing than you are well on the road to becoming another statistic. Don't let that happen to you or your kids!
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 8:29 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • U have to take care of yourself to be happy have u spoke to him about this I would get what I want and tell him I had to take care of me and if he has a problem then tell him u are going to get a job and he can pay for child care
    rinamomof2

    Answer by rinamomof2 at 8:34 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I live in the US, so 100 euro is a little over $144 here. Is that for everything....groceries, things for the baby, etc.? And WHY do you have to ask him for everything? That is VERY, VERY controlling, demeaning and disrespectful. It will gradually lower your self-esteem....if it hasn't already. I could never, ever tell someone to leave a marriage, but I really think you both....because you're a couple....need to go to marriage counseling. If he won't go, go by yourself. I was married for 26 years and sat SO many times in a counselor's office ALONE. He wouldn't go because he would say "I have no problem, I'm happy", but if ONE person in a couple has a problem, you BOTH do....bottom line. As for me, I would buy that stuff anyway and NOT tell him. Then he will see how nice you look and maybe, just maybe, give in. I'm not trying to condone dishonesty, but it appears you've not been given a choice here.
    godfreygirl143

    Answer by godfreygirl143 at 9:03 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

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