My SO and I are moving in together after being together for nearly 2 years.
Things have gotten really rocky between us since we decided to move in together and found a place. Now that we have found a place and started moving our stuff in, I feel like I really need to give it a chance (and in case it's just stress from our current living situations, I don't want to end it prematurely).
My question is, for something like this, what constitutes a fair chance? I've been thinking the summer: the kids go back to school (they are my kids, he has none) Aug. 22nd, and I've been thinking that *if* it doesn't work out, Labor Day weekend would be a good time to move if we need to.
But is that long enough? Is it too long? I want to be sure that I give this a fair chance to work or not work, and to be able to know that if I leave, I truly tried all I could and gave it long enough to know that it wasn't going to work. But at the same time, I don't want to stay too long and teach my kids that they should stay in a relationship that is going downhill.
Some of the rockiness is stemming from money issues. Some of it is that he has, in the past, insulted me, called me names, blamed me for things that aren't my fault, and he constantly criticizes me. Now, I will admit I'm not perfect. I am sure that there are some things that he criticizes me for that are valid, but if I listen to him, I am nothing but a big failure that can do absolutely nothing right.
And some of it is, due to the name calling and criticism, I find myself often thinking that I'd rather be single. That my life would be better if I were single again. And of course, I know that thoughts like that lead to further discontent.
Which is why I have the question of how long is a fair chance? Is giving the relationship the summer, doing whatever I can to try to make it work, and seeing what happens a fair chance? If it's not, what would be?
Asked by Anonymous at 7:32 AM on Jun. 10, 2011 in Relationships
Wow, he calls you names and insults you in front of your kids and your relationship is already rocky and you are thinking about when to move out as you are moving in together...??? I'd say you are making a huge mistake right now. You should stay single and stay in your own place, things aren't going to change once you live together. Good luck...it could be a long long miserable summer for you and your kids.
Answer by meooma at 7:38 AM on Jun. 10, 2011
Answer by Ms.Gwen at 7:39 AM on Jun. 10, 2011
Answer by SWasson at 7:54 AM on Jun. 10, 2011
Answer by Ms.Gwen at 8:19 AM on Jun. 10, 2011
Answer by godfreygirl143 at 8:45 AM on Jun. 10, 2011