Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Would you tell your friend?

Everyone on here seems very opinionated.. So I was wondering.. Is this the same with your friends and family..For example.. If you saw a friend.. basically making her child a brat through not disciplining her kid and letting her do whatever she wants...Would you talk to your friend about it?? Or stay out of it??

 
Emmajosmommy

Asked by Emmajosmommy at 7:54 AM on Jun. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 18 (5,813 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (22)
  • I think it depends on how good of friends I am with the person..It is never easy to talk to someone about how they are parenting and everyone parents differently. I have had conversations about parenting with my friends and I have at times tried to explain why I think their kids act a certain way. For the most part my friends and I parent the same way. There are differences although not many. So I guess in talking with each other we tell each other what we think. For example; if one of my children is frustrating me I might talk to a friend to get their point of view on the situation. They tell me either they agree with how I have handled it or they explain how they would have handled it and why..so in the end I guess we do talk about how we discipline and I would say something.

    Good Luck!
    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 8:06 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Hmm...thats a touchy one. I mean if its really weighing on you then pull her aside, take her to lunch one on one and talk to her about your issues with your kids and kinda break the ice and say something that she can relate to that will open the flood gates for conversation so it doesnt feel like your attacking her or putting down her parenting methods.
    MissyNewMama

    Answer by MissyNewMama at 7:59 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I would tell my family such things, but I don't think I would a friend, unless it was a really, really good friend. In my lifestyle we move so much that isn't possible right now. But I would for sure tell my siblings (if they had kids) if I thought there kid was a brat, lol, and they would tell me too!
    ILoveCade

    Answer by ILoveCade at 8:00 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Id stay out of it. I dont want anyone telling me how to raise my child. I dont spank for instance and wouldnt want someone telling me I should strike my child to make them behave, and I have had that happen. How I choose to raise my kids is my business, how someone else chooses to raise their is their business. As long as they are not abusing or neglecting their kids anyway, then it becomes my business and I report them.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:01 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I've been in your spot before. I've had people come over....friends AND family....over the years and had their kids drive me nuts. It would interfere with our having a good time playing games, talking and just basically having a good evening. Here is how I handled it.

    I would say NOTHING about how THEY were disciplining their kids....I just kindly asked "do you mind if I step in a bit?" Most of the times they said it was fine.....one even said "I can't do anything with them so you give it a try". Then I just went on to kindly tell the children "I don't allow that in my house".....and very important here....I gave them something that would distract them from whatever they were doing by giving them something else to do. I don't think you can change how someone raises their children by EVER telling them.....they will just go home and do the same things. Just my 2 cents.
    godfreygirl143

    Answer by godfreygirl143 at 8:23 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Yea...I am not sure about telling her.. ya know.. I am the kinda person that.. to each is own.. as long as the kid isn't in danger.. I really don't want to intervene ya know?? She's a great person.. I just think if she handled her kid a little bit differently..she wouldn't have the issues she has with her..but I don't want to seem like I think I am better than her.. I am a 1st time mom and don't want her to think I am being a bitch lol
    Emmajosmommy

    Comment by Emmajosmommy (original poster) at 8:03 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Yea I agree gemgem.. I feel the same way and thats what I said.. I actually discussed this with other friends and some people told me to tell her where others said to stay outta it.. I don't think I could ever tell someone they aren't doing something right.. regardless what it is.. because who am I to make that decision?? between what's right and wrong for someone else?? I am hoping she takes her child to counseling.. I did suggest that.. and she agreed that it was a good idea.. So I am hoping that it helps.. I basically just concerned for both of them.. But I think talking to someone may help both of them..
    Emmajosmommy

    Comment by Emmajosmommy (original poster) at 8:06 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Yea basically.. she allows her to run the show.. there aren't rules .. and she doesn't stick to anything she says to her.. She's a single mom so I can't imagine how hard that is to begin with.. So I really don't want to hurt her feelings.. I know she is doing the best she can for the most part.. I just don't want to see her child become more out of control as she gets older :(
    But I guess we shall see... I don't want to get involved..If she asks for my input I will tell her ..other than that.. I am staying out of it..
    Emmajosmommy

    Comment by Emmajosmommy (original poster) at 8:09 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • And thanks everyone for your advice!! :)
    Emmajosmommy

    Comment by Emmajosmommy (original poster) at 8:10 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I would say to stay out of it. Parenting is very sensitive subject in general. I would never dare to give an opinion, unless somebody is asking about it directly.
    LadyGI

    Answer by LadyGI at 8:25 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN