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After infidelity can you love him or trust him the same?

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:44 PM on Dec. 10, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • not 100% but i got to about 95 ish... depends on the day and my mood i am only female!

    Answer by watersgirls at 11:45 PM on Dec. 10, 2008

  • No, you will never trust him the same. Love will change and grow with or without infidelity. Trust takes an enormous amount of time and effort to rebuild, but it can be done.

    Answer by SkyeGirl at 12:21 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • IMO, yes. But it has to be a joint effort. Couples counseling is a great place to start because it's a "safe and comfortable" place for both of you to vent in a healthy, non hurtful way. Talk bout it HONESTLY, OPENLY. Don't hold anything back. Say EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY because once you have gotten past it, put it behind you and forgiven him, that's where it should stay, in the past because that's the only way for you to be able to move on and let it go. Don't let him make excuses for it either. IMO, men cheat because they want to and some women feel like somehow it's their fault because the man makes them feel guilty. IMO, even if it were you that cheated, two wrongs don't make a right. I believe that we all deserve a second chance as we are human and make mistakes. Think about how you would want him to act if it were you. Wouldn't you want that second chance? I hope this helps some and GL.

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 12:23 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Nope its never the same but you will still love the person its just the trust issue!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 12:30 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I say...NOPE!

    Answer by mommyinAlaska at 12:40 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • i love him theres no question about it even after he cheated. but i dont fully trust him yet i have my days were start to wonder if hes still doing it. but we are working it out for our children. but trusting him is going to take a while longer. so for me yes i still do love him the same but i dont trust him like i used to.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:42 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I think the trust is cracked forever, no matter how hard you try to prove or show that you've realized how wrong you were, that they can never trust you or you them. Just like with a friend that lied to you etc, you always wonder if they're telling the truth or hiding something from you.
    But if you've decided to forgive him, then you have to be able to let it go and not throw it in his face every time you get mad or upset.

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 6:28 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Depends on the people and the relationship. Personally, I wasn't able to. But that was because he did nothing to try to prove he could be trusted, and in fact, went out of way sometimes to prove he couldn't. But I know other people who have worked thru it and their relationships are as strong, or even stronger than, before. It's a two-person effort: one to be willing to forgive and trust again, and one willing to admit they did wrong and work to prove they can be trusted. If either person isn't willing to do their part, then it won't work. But, if both are willing, then I think they could work it out and find a way to get that love and trust back.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 6:31 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • It would be over for me...beatin and cheatin...two of my biggest deal breakers!

    Answer by salexander at 10:11 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

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