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2 Bumps

Would you move another women in to help them out?

would u move another women in along with your husband and kids? someone i know needs a place to stay i know her only through mutual friends ,but we became friendly in the last few weeks through text and fb well shes trying to leave her husband who shes tried to many times but he just found her and she went back to avoid problems .but since he dont know me or where i live i was going to help her out.my question is i am married and a little insecure she is prettier than me and has an attractive body (big boobs) she would be staying in the basement it has a bathroom but no shower so she would be sharing our bathroom and kitchen.i work at home but do go to the gym 3 nights a week which is the only time her and my husb would be alone(unless she wanted to go with me) she would be helping me out with money also.am i just being insecure or is this playing with fire?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Jun. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (24)
  • I wouldn't because you really don't know her. Not because of her looks.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 10:30 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • It's simply a matter of trust. Do you trust your husband?
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 10:30 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • If you trust your husband, her presence shouldn't be a consideration.

    What SHOULD be, is her soon to be ex husband. This is what women's shelters are for, to make sure that she (and everyone else) is safe from him.
    My ex tracked me down, it isn't hard to do.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 10:32 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • It depends on if you can trust your husband. Just because you are insecure doesn't mean he is going to do anything. Two things can happen with this woman, she will either try and compensate for her lost love, or she will be totally turned off by men for a while. The problem these days with the overtly sexual climate is that people think that just because a man and a woman are together, they need to be having sex. Before this whole "feel good" generation came about, it wasn't as much of a problem. Not that it didn't happen, but there was a lot more respect for women and especially the woman a man loved.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 10:32 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Honestly Anon, I am less concerned about your husband and very concerned about her's. That is too much to ask of your family to bring this volatile man into their lives, if he finds her again. She needs to go into the type of shelter program where they can hide her. It is nice of you to want to help, but playing with fire indeed.

    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 10:36 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I think this is a matter of if you trust your husband or not, aside from that, is her husband violent? I would be more worried about him finding out where she is and harming you and your family. YOU must be 100% sure that she is willing to cut off all contact with him, sometimes women play a game with this situation. Does she have children with him? I guess the thing I don't understand, is if she has no kids, why can't she go away on her own, to a hotel or one of those rent by the week places. I would be more apt to help her get a very cheap car --if she has no transportation, and help her start out on her own. I think your being a better friend by helping her start out, than risking your family,, but it is really nice of you to want to help.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 10:39 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • No I wouldn't while we think we can trust our men it doesn't always work out that way especially if she were to come onto him. He might just think why not give it a try and see. Good Luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:42 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Only if she is related would I allow it.

    In your case, you're playing with fire. They husband may find out where she is and bring trouble to your house. It's not worth it, in my opinion.
    Simplicity3

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 10:46 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I wouldn't. Since her husband is the insane kind who will track her down, and it can be done even if he doesn't know you thanks to your contact with her over text and FB, she would be better off at a shelter. As for your insecurity about her looks and the possibility your husband might be interested, if you're worried it's best not to have her there. You'll get all kinds of crap, as you notice from other comments, but I've seen more than one couple dissolve over the presence of another woman just on a friendly level not even living in the house. I'm just not naive enough to think nothing would ever happen no matter how much you trust your husband or how wonderful he might well be. The best place for her is a place she can be safe, which again would be the shelter.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I have to agree with others here - you really don't know this woman that well and you shouldn't put your own family at risk of a crazy ex-husband for her. Encourage her to go to a women's shelter, but don't bring her into your home.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 10:49 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

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