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How do you stop this?

We had an outing planned today to the Science Center but I cancelled it because my 13 yo dd got real sassy with me. It's a pain because when I cancel something it takes the fun away from ME too. What else do you do when this happens?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:55 AM on Jun. 10, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • nothing short of what you did as much as it sucks for you they are learning a lesson. if she doesn't learn from this maybe make her write a paper on something science related and if she does a good job on it reward her with the trip.
    amberpaiz

    Answer by amberpaiz at 10:57 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Ignore the sassiness. Make her write dictionary pages. I have the best response from my son when I ignore it. He'll be sassy, I don't respond and he gets mad and says, "didnt you hear me?" I respond, "No, all I heard as blah blah blah. Speak respectfully or I won't respond."
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:58 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Was the outing for more than just her, do you have other kids you were going to take? I would have went and made her stay home with a sitter,,LOL!
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 11:04 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • No, just her and she would be way... too old for a sitter anyway. I wouldn't PAY a sitter for her being bad anyway.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:39 AM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I never grounded my children from FAMILY activities. They could watch TV with us (but not in the TV room), they could go out with us (but not with their friends), they could could go online for school related reasons (but not for their own reasons), they never had to eat in their rooms (meals were always with the family) and they never got grounded from reading. I understand punishing for rude behavior but I do not believe in isolating a child from time with their families and making memories with their families. My father did that to me....I was always grounded for something (making a bed wrong, putting a dirty dish away, double creasing when I ironed...I am sure YOUR reasons are 100% more valid than my dad's were) and spent from 12-17 basically isolated from my family...no Christmas Eve dinner, no family camping, no family trips, ate in my room & I wasn't allowed to read because it was something I enjoyed. I was very lonely
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I've had to do this w/ my son & it is possibly harder on the mom than it is on the kid. I think as long as you give a warning & explain why you've cancelled the outing, it is absolutely appropriate.

    I get what the Anonymous poster is saying, but I don't think that is what you're doing. You expect to be treated respectfully and if you aren't, then there won't be special privileges. I'm assuming you didn't spend the day not speaking to your daughter or doing any of the things Anon mentioned. Lots of kids grow up without special things like trips to the Science Center. I think that if you let your child be obnoxious & then still get those things, you're on a slippery slope toward spoiled brat.

    I always make it clear that I love my son, but that I don't deserve to be spoken to/treated is a disrespectful way, as I do not treat him that way & I'm his mother. I think you did the right thing & she will learn eventually.
    sweetpotato418

    Answer by sweetpotato418 at 10:48 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • You did the right thing because if you would have took him on the outing he would think,,,,hey i can say whatever i want to mom and she will still do for me. By staying home tell's him that you won't put up with his behavior and next time he will think before he talks. I should have done that years ago. Im doing it now and it works but it's a little harder since my son is almost 17 but i told him if you live under my roof then you will obey my rules and if you don't like it you can get out.
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 6:55 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • ooohh I guess I would probably leave her butt home and still go out and have a good time on my own.
    wifeNmom76

    Answer by wifeNmom76 at 12:58 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • wow anonymous your parents were cruel. I am DEFINEATLY NOT IN THAT CATAGORY!! You don't really put me there do you???!!! Well, maybe you do because of your past feeling but I know better. I am just wanting to help my dd to be better!!!!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:43 PM on Jun. 17, 2011

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