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2 Bumps

My distaste for my inlaws is affecting my marriage. Even during death there are still issues

my husbands grandma passed away this week.. My Fil and step Mil took care of her at the end of her life.. They isolated her from other family members such as my husbands aunt and uncle.. My dh's parents DENY that they did this. I saw it all along.. They would tell her that everyone wanted money and they are they only safe ones.. My inlaws are fake and really only care about themselves. I have allowed them a relationship with my son bc its the right thing to do..
my husbands uncle called my fil yesterday and I told his brother how angry he was that he didnt see his own mom for the last 2 years of her life. so my Fil called my dh upset. I DONT BELIEVE MY FIL OR MIL .I call BULL SHIT!! I wont say this to their face but its how my heart feels. now they want sympathy bc they have to plan they service and family is angry.. But my husband Believes his parents and is NOw ANGRY with me bc I understand where his Aunt and Uncle are coming from. So bc I dont believe them now im the bad person. Should I fake my feelings .. how do I DO THAT?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:09 PM on Jun. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Probably the best thing you can do is detach yourself from the problem. Consider it his issue, not yours, and just be supportive about his stress and sadness at a difficult time.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 1:13 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Yes, you should fake it. It's his family and you should let him sort out the feelings. Be kind and sympathetic to both sides even if you don't agree. Encourage him to keep a relationship with his uncle. It's all you can do. There was just a death in the family and emotionas are running high. It will all settle down.
    Shanna84

    Answer by Shanna84 at 1:14 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I would just keep my mouth shut and let it all work itself out,, you going to add fuel to this fire if you confront it,, uggh, they sound awful, but don't get yourself into a pickle, your kiddos will be the ones to suffer.
    kimigogo

    Answer by kimigogo at 1:14 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I can tell you from experience your DH will not see what his parents are pulling unless and until he wants to. If you say anything, you're the bad one. It's a hard lesson to learn but all you can do is keep your mouth shut. It's funny how a husband will close ranks with his family of origin against his spouse but it can happen sometimes. What I do now is keep my opinions to myself. If he comes to me griping about his family, I just listen until I can change the subject or go do something else. Nine times out of ten it's something I have already thought but I know not to say it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Your situation sound very similar to mine with my husbands family (my MIL/FIL). They are quite the pair. They are 75yrs old and don't own anything except their truck. Nothing wrong with except that, it's very noticeable that the sort of roam from one elderly close relative to the next, offering help and care etc. next thing you know, their moved in. Taking them to the Dr appts, senior center AND the person ATTORNEY. They are money mongers IMO. They lived with FIL's mother for awhile and I know for a fact that they tapped her phone line & made recordings so when they got home, they cld listen to whom she talked to and trying to find what she was doing with her will. Oh the nerve of these kinds of leeches! I keep my mouth shut though. I have the satisfaction that I know what's really going on inside myself and try to keep the peace. I don't want to hurt DH's feelings & I know he knows they're WRONG.
    KellyGirl_TX

    Answer by KellyGirl_TX at 1:46 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Suck it up for the funeral.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 1:59 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I would not fake it not at all..
    smiley745

    Answer by smiley745 at 6:36 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

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