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3 Bumps

How could he do/say that and not expect me to cry?? adult content

long story short, my SO and I have had issues with sex in the past and it took us a while to get where we are now, with a mostly healthy happy sex life...until last night. We had real interesting sex and it felt like he wasn't even there..after I asked what was wrong an he asked if I really wanted to know..of course I say yes and he goes on a monologue of the list of things that turned him off before and during the sex..like that my breath still tasted alike wine (after brushing my teeth) and mouth wash..and he was still upset about an earlier argent (even tho we made up and hung out after it).. There was more but I was devastated I cried and he just went and slept on the couch- which has never happened. He said I over reacted bit I'm still so hurt I don't know how I'll look at him later when I'm home from work.. I emailed him last night telling him all I feel so we'll see if he responds. Any advice tho??? Anything is appreciates thx an I'm typing on iPhone sorry for typos!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Jun. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • Well, you asked.
    DH complains about wine breath too. And beer breath on him always turns me off.
    I think you both have some more work to do on your sex life. But I didn't hear anything overly cruel, just truth.
    He didn't say you were fat or ugly, did he? That would have crossed the line.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • You've already done the appropriate thing. You told him how you feel. Ball is in HIS court now. If you get no response, he would become INsignificant Other INSTANTLY in my book.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 1:15 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • It was an *argument..and I was so upset after hetold me thy bc he had several chances to not have sex but still went through with it, leading me to beloved e wanted it only to find out he "wasn't present" and was just doing it for me...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:15 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • So he did what you wanted, even though he didn't want to.
    Then when you asked why he didn't want to, he told you the truth, and you got mad.
    Did you want him to lie?

    I've had sex even though I didn't want to, many times. And my man appreciates it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • For starters I have never had sex while not wanting to, but maybe that's just me. An I did not ask why he didn't want sex I asked what was wrong..I could have thought of 100 other answers and obv I didn't put everything he said. Some of it was real hurtful and insulting- he was real insensitive about it all and it still hurts, that's all..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:22 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • If he hurt your feelings then I can understand that you cried. But still keep in mind that you told him that you wanted to know.

    maybe you should consider getting some counseling. Sounds like there's a lot going on with you two, which is ok. We just need help getting through it sometimes.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 1:23 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • It's hard to answer this without knowing the problems you've had with your sex life and what you've done to work on it, so I'm just going to say 'keep working on it.' and if you're not allready, maybe involve a professional?
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 1:24 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • You're blowing this out of proportion. Let it go, don't take it personally.
    Sex isn't always going to be a mind shattering experience. Sometims one or both of you will be preoccupied with other things on your mind. If you don't want to hve sex when he's not into it, tell him so. BUT don't then get offended if he turns you down sometimes.
    Nicoles2LilRams

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 1:25 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I have been where you are before. My husband and I were having a lot of marital issues at the time. My husband didn't even give me a chance to tell him whether or not I wanted to know, he just told me. Said a lot of hurtful things. There is something else going on there I would say besides what he said to you. You need to get to the bottom of it. Seek counseling and keep working on it, do not give up. My husband and I have worked through our issues and are now back to being very happily married and we have a great sex life. Things will work out, here is a great big HUG for you. Good luck to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • To Nicoles... I get what you are saying- but the thing is he already does turn me down often, that was part of our problem.. I'm with the one man in the world who doesn't care much for sex, and I'm in my mid-20's (7 yrs younger than him) and DO care about it...but you're right, maybe I'm caring too much about last night..
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:33 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

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