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Just can't seem to get it together for my kids...(a little long but very important)

So I am a single mom of two, ages 3 and 1 (never had a daddy around) and I take care of my friend's daughter during the day because she unable to handle caring for her.
My life has actually been going well lately, I have a stable job, housing and am in a great relationship...but I just can't shake this depressed feeling. I'm constantly tired, and my main problem is I can't focus enough to take care of them all the way I know that I should. Sometimes they watch 2 movies a day so that I can lay down with them (not sleep but rest my body). Well today I was trying to clean the bathroom that my son had trashed and when I went into the kitchen, my one-year-old had pulled a knife off the counter that I didn't think she could reach and was sitting on the floor with it...I feel horrible....Like a piece of shit mother...I'm afraid that I am unfit and that something like this will happen again. Obviously, she could have been seriously hurt! This is the first time something very dangerous has happened, but there were many other times that they got into things that I wasn't aware of, and my son has slipped on a wet floor that I forgot to clean up and my daughter has pushed herself over in her highchair that I left too close to the table...
I need some real advice here. I want to do whatever it takes to make sure my babies are safe, but I just can't seem to balance it all or make myself focus! I have a nanny but she is only here the days that I have to go to work. What should I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:12 PM on Jun. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • Maybe you should stop watching your friends child if you are having difficulty with your own. That has to make the situation more stressful than it has to be.

    Answer by niki2779 at 2:15 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • You may want to consider some sort of counseling. Being a single mom can be overwhelming whether you realize it or not. Good luck mama and hang in there!

    Answer by Dahis at 2:18 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • she has no one else to do it...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:19 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Cut out all carbs and flour from your diet. It is worth a try. I have read articles and more people than we know have a glutton intolerance. Do not beat yourself up over things that happened. All is fine and we all have had "mommy" moments like you were referring to. I used to refer to times like this and say " Another point for mommy of the year". Take each moment and exist in it. Past and future tripping is useless and usually filled with negativity. Live each day like it was your last. Watch your thoughts for that is where your feelings come from. Keep it focused on gratitude. Your daughter did NOT get hurt. Turn it around to be a goood thing. These years are tough and soon it will get easier. Just hang in there and keep smiling. Get alot of hugs from your kids, it will help.. Hold on tight to humor. Laughter breaks the stronghold of depression. Good Luck !!!

    Answer by LeJane at 2:23 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • anon,you sound like a normal mom to me. My kids both have adhd and there are days that they do crazy things while I have my back turned. It does not mean that I am an unfit mother. Things happen and when they do you have to chalk it up as a learning experience and move on. I am sorry that you are having a hard time getting focused and having energy. If you feel like it's something that is getting worse than maybe you should see a doctor about it,even general practioners can give you advice and help in those areas. GL

    Answer by momthruivf at 2:29 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I feel ya! I sometimes felt completely apathetic about everything and couldn't get myself up to do the things I needed to do.
    Working out in the mornings helps me out a lot. It's a difficult habit to et into, but the days I work out before the kids get up are GOOD days. I hve more energy, more patience, more creativity even. And when I miss days it's a noticeable change in my mood.
    Maybe give it a try

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 2:35 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • First of all, I think all parent's have turned around and seen their kid doing something dangerous. Mine somehow found the big, sharp scissors and was happily opening and closing them... and he's slipped on spilt water while I was thinking "oh I'll have to clean that after I finish this" a few times. Parenting is a learning process. You are not a peice of shit mom.

    Regarding the exhaustion... life gets hard! Talk to your doctor and make sure your physical health is okay (iron levels, etc.) And if you're physically healthy, what do you think? Everyone needs a break to recharge sometimes. If you scheduled some time to feed your soul (go out to lunch without the kids, or take a fun dance/painting/whatever class) would that make things better? Do you think it would help to talk to a therapist?

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 2:36 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Oooh... I second Nicole's advice. Try to fit in some exercise (if you are not already). It's both "me time" and it does wonders for your mood and energy! When life starts getting too crazy, I totally use exercise as a mood enhancer!

    Answer by Sebbiemama at 2:40 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I agree, add some exercise to your day. Just a walk. I went to the doctor a year ago because I was in a slump that I could just not kick. I was way deficient in Vit. D. Since then I've fit some sort of exercise in daily no matter how short on time I am. Sometimes I can't do anymore than park a distance from the store I'm grabbing groceries at but a little bit is better than nothing. On top of a regular vitamin take extra D and B. I feel so much better! And my house is so much more clean. LOL Seriously...

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:47 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

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