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Do I let fiance's teen daughter have her bf over?

Fiance's 14yo dd has a bf. Fiance and I are against it, but her mom is ok with it. So should the rule in our house be no bf whatsoever or would it be wiser to have him over so we can monitor the situation?


Asked by Shanna84 at 3:40 PM on Jun. 10, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

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Answers (7)
  • Tough call.. On one hand, if he is there you can keep an eye on them.. If you say no, she could rebel and sneak off to be with him..

    Answer by midnightmoma at 3:43 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I would let them hang out in the open areas of the house nad only if you are home. Leave doors laying on eachother..those kind of rules.

    Answer by ria7 at 3:42 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • If the rule is no boyfriend at your house then you should stick to it. As for her doing something when she is with him, I'm thinking that at 14 she probably should not be running around with him alone. She can't drive yet and you didn't say how old he is. Also, I'm a little bothered by the idea that if you make a rule she does not like she'll run off and mess around with him. Parents make rules all the time that kids don't like. You can't really base rules off their likes and expect success. Maybe it's just me but I'm always a little concerned when I hear that teenagers are going to do what they want and you can't do anything about it or it makes everything worse. Sounds too much like a cop out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:07 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Have him over and monitor it because if you ban him entirely...they are going to go behind your back. 14 is not too young for a bf, it's gonna happen. BUT it is too young to be sneaking around, simply because it can lead to so many things. Just lay out rules, like, no going in the bedroom, no doors shut, etc.


    Answer by momjoy1027 at 3:44 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I don't knw me and my BF who is now my Df use to do some bad things when my parents allowed him to come over. My parents would try to keep an eye on us but they would get distracted or busy and me and Bf would end up making out or something along those lines.

    Answer by styhmMommy at 3:54 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • HER father gets to make the choice... not you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I would allow him over must remain in common areas. It is not uncommon for 14 year olds to have boyfriends. I agree with previous poster that this is between her Dad and Mom. I am not a step parent, but I would stay out of it.

    Answer by jcm62497 at 7:23 PM on Jun. 10, 2011