Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)


on the petition is states obtain or modify. however, i never filed for it before. so i want to say obtain but do i automatically have custody because its been 2yrs and then if i do automatically have custody it would be modifying it.

this is just a petition i found on the website of the courthouse.


Asked by lambdarose at 3:43 PM on Jun. 10, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 22 (14,088 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • You would be petitioning to obtain custody if there is no prior court order signed by a judge. Good luck.

    Answer by gemgem at 4:32 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • If there is no formal custody order, you do not automatically have custody. You are obtaining it. You would be modifying an existing order filed with the court. I'm not a lawyer, but this is how it is in my state. If I were you, I would have an attorney go through your paperwork before you file. States have resources for people who cannot afford attorneys.

    Answer by other_mother at 3:46 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • i thought it was obtaining. well i read some place that after a certain amount of time you automatically have custody of the child. i don;t know where i read it though. ok so how is it that is always written that i am the custodial parent and he is the non custodial parent and most cases its like that even when i went for child support? just wanting to clarify.

    Comment by lambdarose (original poster) at 3:51 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • You really should be asking a lawyer these questions. You are a custodial parent because the child is living with you. However, you are not LEGALLY the custodial parent without a parenting plan and custody order stating so with the courts. He could come and take her legally and start saying he was the custodial parent, and you would be out of luck because there would be no court order to enforce.

    Answer by other_mother at 3:56 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • i understand that. i have consulted a lawyer and he said not to let him take her with out a court order. he has only been with her while i was around. so i will petition the court for obtaining custody.

    Comment by lambdarose (original poster) at 4:01 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Since no custody order is in place, there is no custody agreement. Therefore, if you leave the child with a babysitter, the father can go and demand the child & there is nothing the babysitter can do but release the child. I highly recommend getting a formal agreement ASAP. There is no 'automatically' getting custody.

    Answer by xxlilmomma09 at 4:14 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • having physical custody is not the same as legal custody- by court order. If you have never filed you need to do so with the help of an attorney. Document everything and keep copies of all text messages, emails, letters, notes and the such. If there is a visitation agreement arranged by the courts and he violates it you need to call your local police department and have them make a matter of record report so that you have official documentatino of the incident to use in court the next time you go.

    Answer by chrys45 at 4:15 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • well the father is in a different state and i live in a gated community in which people need to be announced to before entering. so i am not really worried about that. but i am just worried for the future so i know so the benefit of the child and for myself and to be able to protect myself and my child i need to have it all in a legal document.

    Comment by lambdarose (original poster) at 4:18 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • @chrys45, i have no legal or physical custody. i am now going to see if i should do it. he did not want to go to court but he has attempted to manipulate me into her staying with him in another state over night ect. long story. he mentioned it a couple of times. so this is why i do not want this to continue. she is getting orlder and he isn;t going away. he wont sign over his rights to her either. i have told him he can just walk away from all responsiblity he never wanted to do that but in our state you can;t really do that but he wouldn;t do it anyways. well anyways, i never been to court. this is my first attempt. i might have to talk to the lawyer again. i know if the father does not see the child in a year it can be involuntary abandonmant. i don;t know i looked it up a long time ago. its been half a year.

    Comment by lambdarose (original poster) at 4:23 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • thank you.

    Comment by lambdarose (original poster) at 9:55 PM on Jun. 10, 2011