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Have you left a controlling man?

If you live with a controlling man, who gives you little to no access to money beyond what is needed to pay bills, who tells you it's his money, his house, etc, how do you get out? I have kids, they are mine, not his. He is trying to control them, too, and I need to get out. But I don't know how to go about it. I can't even get a job while I'm still with him.

Any suggestions?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Jun. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • well the only way out is to go apply for assistance to move yourself and your family to a new place. If the kids aren't him consider him a friend that is helping out until you can get full assistance financially.. once you have a new place you are out from under him and free to find a new job and yes they can help with that as well. Just go to your Social services office.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 6:28 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Call a friend, a family member, anyone that will take you in for a few months whille you can get on your feet. If you really wanna walk away, there is a way if there is a will. Im here for you if you ever need to talk. Dont keep that head of yours down and your mouth closed, you and your kids deserve better than him.

    Answer by MissyNewMama at 6:28 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • first off i think you should call your parents and tell them what your going through or call a domestic violence shelter they can help you and your children to get far away 4rm a controling and abusive men does he work if so while he is at work call the shelter and ask for help tell them you problem they will be glad to help you out i was in a busive relationship i got out with the churchs help and the shelters help they move me far awya 4rm him just call 211 and ask for shelters okay or ask a friend churchs to help you out

    Answer by mz_cuellar254 at 6:37 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I did not leave a controlling man, I got control of a controlling man. My husband was under the silly impression I would never leave him, that I could not live without him. Im a stay at home mom, so how would I support myself and kids without him?And who would want a young woman with 3 kids? Well, I lost alot of weight after baby number 3, started dressing nicer, doing hair and make up everyday. I started job hunting. And I reconnected with old friends on FB-who happened to be guys. I got my self esteem back. I wrote him a letter telling him how I felt, washed all his clothes and got them together, told him I deserved better. It shocked the shit out of him. He is a different man. I still stand my ground too, the other day he didnt like what I was wearing and TOLD me to go change or I wasnt leaving the house. I called his mama and made arrangements for him to live with her. He wasnt down the road when I got the first text.

    Answer by Auntiemom410 at 6:39 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • If you have kids then you need and HAVE to do what you HAVE to do. If the money he gives you to pay bills are his bills then take that money and just leave. Go to a friends or family's house and make the swear they won't tell him where you are. You are your childrens protectors and you need to do just that, protect them.

    Answer by YellowBaby at 9:29 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • they have assistance programs for women in your situation, I know I was one. My ex controlled me, until he got mad enough one day and asked the cops to put me out. His worst mistake because I left and I never went back, me and my son. I went to a goverment funded non profit agency that helped me get my own place and learn how to survive on my own. If you have any family I would let them know your situation and how serious you are about leaving him and taking your kids away. They have to agree to not let him know where you are (ensure they understand the importanct of this) file a restraining/protection order (its free just go to the courthouse and speak with the clerk) get government assistance for food and insurance, start small looking for a job, and work your way up. Good Luck

    Answer by thelovelymzbre at 9:42 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

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