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Dealing with very sick mother....

My mom has been in and out of the hospital since I was 16 years old, with different illness' from pneumonia, lupus, kidney failure, congested heart failure and so on. Its been 8 long stressful years, in and out of doctors offices, trying to balance my life and to care for my mom. I want her to get better but I also know shes tired, and shes only holding on for me and my older sister. Its a hard pill to swallow but I am trying my best to except it. Its just hard to because she goes into the hospital and the doctors tell us theres nothing more they can do, we prepare for the worst, then she bounces back. A week or so passes and we do it all over again. After 8 years of this, I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was 21, and my seizures worsen when something goes wrong. I'm 24 now, and with a 4 year old and 8 months pregnant, the stress is tearing me apart. I barely sleep at all already and whenever shes sick Im at the hospital and up around the clock. I don't know what to do anymore.

Answer Question
 
thelovelymzbre

Asked by thelovelymzbre at 6:22 PM on Jun. 10, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,326 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Oh honey, I'm very sorry your dealing with this. I know you hear that alot Im sure, but I wanted to say it anyway because I do mean it. You are pregnant and stressed and you know whats coming with your mother, you have to take care of you and your babies now hun. I know its hard and painful, please take a step back, your mother knows you love her.
    You need anything you message me.
    MissyNewMama

    Answer by MissyNewMama at 6:26 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I think you need to relax and stop putting everything on your shoulders. It isnt good for you, your baby or your 4 yr old. Take it more easy. You can still be there for her but you dont need to be there 24 hours when she's in the hospital. Talk to your sister about sharing some time with her mom.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 6:26 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • Such a huge amount of stress. I am sorry to hear about the emotional roller coaster. I am sorry to hear your mom suffers so. She would understand you needing to destress.
    pookiekins34

    Answer by pookiekins34 at 6:28 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • She is your mom.....

    I know it is very hard.....

    What would you want from your own children...

    Is there anyone else out there that can help you?
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 6:30 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • im not looking for assistance. I'm a stay at home mom and my husband works a lot. I just wanted some positive ways to get through this. It is hard to except, and my sister and I share helping my mom, however I cant do as much (picking her up, moving her, etc.) because Im pregnant and she has artifical (metal) joints which are heavy.
    thelovelymzbre

    Comment by thelovelymzbre (original poster) at 6:45 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • well i think you should find assistant for your mom for a few months so you can get through this pregnancy and heal after birth. Dont push it so much or it can cause you to go into labor early.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 6:49 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

  • I know this is hard to hear but you have your own family now and you need to focus strictly on that. Parents are not meant to burden their children with their sicknesses and illnesses, that is what health insurance and life insurance is for. You need to explain to mother that if she needs anything that you will help with what you can but you need to take care of yourself. What if something happened to you or your unborn child while you were stressing about your mother? How would you feel. My mom is very sick as well and I focus first on my family and then her because that is what parents (moms) are supposed to do - take care of their family, raise their children to move on to raise their own family. My mom hasn't save a penny, only has medicaid and has no life insurance..what are we supposed to do when something does happen to her? My father recently passed and he didn't have any of the above either and its a mess.
    YellowBaby

    Answer by YellowBaby at 9:27 PM on Jun. 10, 2011

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