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HELP! What is going on? Any ideas?

I wrote in a couple months ago about how my fiance was watching porn and we would only have sex once a month. So I confronted him about the porn and told him how i felt and he threw it out, so I was happy that I wasn't being preplaced. But now its back to the same old thing, without the porn.. he waits for me to leave the house and then jacks off. I can tell because he does it in our bed and doesn't like fix it back to the way it was before i left. He also takes like 45 minute showers, when he usually only takes 20 minutes. Does anyone have any ideas? I have tried it all, like anything from ignoring him so he will want to get next to me all the way to pretty much throwing myself at him. HELP!

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:38 AM on Dec. 11, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • Does he have any issues with keeping an erection? Does your sex life need to be spiced up? Can you ask him what he fantasises about what he would like you to do for him?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:42 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • This is just typical guy behavior. It used to bother me when I knew my husband masturbated. I would take it very personally, but it is human nature. He does the same thing with the shower. That's his time and it doesn't bother me anymore. Except when I saw that he had been using face lotion that my mom bought him that was about $75 for it!!! lol....he never uses it on his face and all of a sudden it was almost gone. As far as sex, just make yourself available to him. Let him know that you would like to 'make love' more often. DON'T bring up the masturbation thing because it is natural and you don't want to embarrass him about it. He may resent you for it and that definitely won't help things.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Guys like to masterbate. I believe they really have to do it. Im sure he loves you and i dont think it has anything to do with you, its more like he likes to please himself, whats wrong with that? Sometimes he may just want to release alone, ya know? My husband masterbates alot and it doesnt bother me, at least its his hand and not another female!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:45 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • You could casually ask him not to pleasure himself so he can stay horney for you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:45 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • NO he has no problem keeping it up, I mean when he was watching porn yes constantly it was a waste of time to even try to do anything because he couldn't keep it up, but since the porn has been gone he has been fine what little we have done. OH YES it needs more than spicing up it needs an electric shock. I bought a book to find out some ideas but we havn't had sex or even barely touched to even try them or try to try them out.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Have you point blank asked him if there is something wrong with the way you look that is turning him off?? Tell him yes it will hurt my feelings but I need to know or I cannot fix it!!

    Answer by scaredmommy08 at 9:28 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • You stated he is your fiance...he is showing you who he is and what he is made of. I do not think you should have to ignore him nor throw yourself at him... You really need to ask yourself if you can live with this man and his quirks that bother you.

    Answer by Dannee at 9:35 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I have asked him a million times and all he wants so say is no you are beautiful.. I know im not the same like before I had our daughter but we all can't go back to a size 2 ya know and I think he understands but then this is what comes of it..


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:36 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I guess I have the non-typical guy. My DHrarely masturbates. He prefers me. You need to do something. Buy some new lingerie and surprise him with it. Don't throw yourself at him but make him want to come to you. Have you ever thought of just watching porn with him. That will spice it p and you may even learn something new. Like maybe you enjoy it too. He probably just feels like since the baby has arrived you are a different person. Show him you are not. He looks at you in a different way, you are still beautiful, but now you are also his child's mother. That shocks a lot of men....


    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • it could be a stress relief for him, too. I know alot of people masturbate to chill out. It would still bother me, though, that he didn't want me as much.

    Take the other ladies' suggestions and see what happens. Maybe he just needs some reassurance.

    Answer by MammaMia72 at 10:39 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

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