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How can I get my husband to do the house work that needs to be done before I get home from work ?

On the days I work my hubby seems to think I want to do house work after I have worked all day and when I come to see.that he has done nothing all it does is start a arguement how can I help him to understand that I really don't want to do that crappy stuff

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QuEeN_bEe_03

Asked by QuEeN_bEe_03 at 2:11 AM on Jun. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 5 (70 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • sidesplittinglaughtergood luck with that

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:12 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Yeah, if you find an answer let me know! I think that is the age old question. All you can do is ask.
    ILoveCade

    Answer by ILoveCade at 2:28 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • You know. I have had this problem and occasionally go thru this. He has like sports where I get thru to him. I usually don't do anythig that he does. I clean up after myself and my son and wait it out and he eventually gets the hint. Or I will say something like are you going to do your clothes today because I need to do mine. Or when I leave I leave a list and tell him I would appreciate it if he could do these things. I text every few hours to remind him (my husband has a bad memory, war) and the list thing usually works. If it's not done when I get home, I say nothing at all to him, and start doing a few things but really aggressively and he will come in and start doing it cuz he doesn't want me to be mad at him.

    Ok so really this might not be the best answer but it makes for an interesting relationship with my husband. And it gets him to do things. Lol
    Hapsand123

    Answer by Hapsand123 at 3:48 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • i have a chart on the fridge of things that need to be done daily, and things that need to be done weekly, and things that need to be done monthly, along with which days to do them. they have a little box next to each day and task. i never brought it up to him, but if he sees that the little box next to dishes doesn't have a check mark, he does them. he can look at a sink full of dishes and not seem to notice them though lol...
    LunaB

    Answer by LunaB at 5:24 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I would just tell him what I expect him to do. He lives there right? You aren't the maid right? Give him a list and tell him from this point on these are his responsibility and chores.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 6:20 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I have given my dh a choice. "Hey I need some help. Either you can clean up the dishes or clean up the living room." Just like a kid he picks the easier one.. lol but he helps out.
    Autumn07

    Answer by Autumn07 at 7:46 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Mirror his actions for a while, and see how he likes it when you don't do the housework! Marriage is a team effort! If he is going to live there and expect you to do the work, then you have the right to expect the same from him. Leave things undone for a while, and see how long it takes him to notice! He will eventually "get it"!!!
    Lynda-Lou

    Answer by Lynda-Lou at 9:27 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • This is the problem with the women that "want it all" I get thumbs downed when I say that we can't "have it all" because we can't possibly do it all. There just isn't enough time, no matter how super mom you are. We can't be everything to everyone all the time. Women who work want to share the housework/child rearing with the husband, that is not having it all. That being said, men are hard to motivate. Mine works on the road and I told him this time when he came home on "vacation" there were a few things I needed him to do. He got part of 1 accomplished. He lives in motels and eats out so he has nothing to do any other time. I tried going on strike once. I left the house and left the kids with my then husband. I came home and the house was cleaned. My clothes were ruined from the washer, but it made them appreciate what I did. I was only gone a couple of hours.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 9:36 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • My method for motivation would be to simply say "Hey dude, this isn't rocket science, if it needs doing, go do it and stop acting like you're an incompetent tool, because you have two strong hands and a brain in your head, we are a team here."
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 9:41 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Talk to him about it at a time when you both are calm, not when you are just coming home from work and pissed because the house is trashed.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 10:20 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

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