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Advice plz!! i dont know wat to do

so my daughters father n I have a really rocky relationship. He wants me to move 2 hrs away with him to live with his family in the morning. I would be ok if he gave me time to think about it and if we had a room to stay. We wouldn't tho. My daughters 8 1/2 months old. So basically we wont have privacy at all. But if we move it will be easier to find jobs. I live in a small town far from n e city. So we dont have any money saved up either. If he leaves we wont be 2gether at all.

Another issue is we are buying a car 2gether. we got it b4 things got rocky. I pay for it since he got laid off. Any money he gets he uses for himself and gives me 1/4 of it. Right now I have no money til the 2nd.

I dont know wt to do. Help!

Answer Question
 
minki111

Asked by minki111 at 2:30 AM on Jun. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,198 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • If you have a job now and he's unemployed and your relationship is rocky, why would you want to leave with him? Are you near your family and a support group now? Don't put your daughter and yourself in a position that would be hard to get out of. Have him move, get a job, an apt. then send for you and dd.
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 2:37 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Don't allow ANY man to control you or make you do something you're not 100% for, or it won't work out. You are the only person looking out for you, always remember that.
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 2:41 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Don't go at all!
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 2:52 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I agree with Kathy, Are u 2 married? Or whoise name is the car in? If its his, u might be out of a car if he decides to be an ass. But I woould tell u are more then willing to move with him when he gets settled in a place to live besides his parents. Also ask him to see whay kinda jobs they have there and maybe he can send u an app or an internet site where u can fill it in an mail back that way u will have a job when u get there. Maybe u can suggest to him to get a job 1st before u all move and when he gets hired he could move then then u can get stuff together at your place and then join him.. Some employers will help pay for a move also.
    Michigan-Mom74

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 3:47 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • the car is under both our names. right now i live with my mom. N its about that time for me 2 move out. He has no where really 2 stay he's been down here stayn at friends house to be close 2 us. we just started talkn about moving like 2 days ago but it wasnt suppost to happen for a month or 2 but now he wants to go 2mro
    minki111

    Comment by minki111 (original poster) at 3:55 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Staying with your Mom is your safest bet right now. Sort the rest out later. Don't run off 2 hours from Mom without taking the time to really think it through. Let him go if he wants, you can always decide to join him later.
    GrammytoTrin

    Answer by GrammytoTrin at 6:09 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • One thing I have learned over the years is to listen to what your little inner voice is telling you. In other words, "when in doubt, don't". There is a reason you are hesitating and I would listen to that warning. If he is pressuring you to make a decision now and you are not ready to, then you need to tell him. Unless the move is going to benefit your family "greatly" then take your time. If you aren't together for a short period of time that is ok. That may be all you need to confirm the move is in YOU and your daughter's best interest. I take it you guys aren't married, and if that is the case, you put you and your daughter first! If he really wants this situation to move forward he will step up and make the situation a better one and a more comfortable one for you! And he will not pressure you! Give it some time. Things have a way of working out for the best when you least expect it!
    Lynda-Lou

    Answer by Lynda-Lou at 9:25 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Lynda-Lou hit the nail right on the head, and something at my age I still tend to forget. That inner voice. Or those little bells as I call it. They are warnings from inside and if you don't listen to them, you will regret it. Moving 2 hours away on the spur of the moment seems a little rash to me. Why so quickly I'd want to know. But I agree with the other moms, have him go and get you a place of your own. Living with an in-law a lot of times can lead to disaster. It's their house, not yours, no matter how close y'all are, you are still an outsider in their home.
    attap5

    Answer by attap5 at 9:32 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

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