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I know this has been asked a hundred times and answered at least that many times, but nothing is working?? HELPPPPP!

I have a 1st, 2nd, and 5th grade girls. No matter what I do, they do not listen. If I tell them politely, if I scream, cry, beg, spank, ground, remove privileges, NOTHING IS WORKING!!! They look at me like I have 3 heads when I ask them to do their chores. They refuse to stop their bickering, whining and backtalk. Despite the fact that I get them up 2 hours in advance in the morning, they still miss the bus! The thing I really can't stand is the blank stare I get when I tell them to do something. Totally blank - nothing there. We are all in counseling. This is affecting my health, my SO's health and our sanity!!!


Asked by Babylove76 at 8:57 AM on Dec. 11, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 21 (10,227 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I know of a GREAT book that you might find some good ideas in... it's written by a Christian, so I don't know how you would feel about that..... if you are interested in learning the title and author's name please send me a message =)

    Answer by dedicatedrider at 9:03 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Why don't you show them how they act give them their taste of their own medicine.
    I mean when they throw a fit then you throw fit and so on.
    If that doesn't work just leave the room and they will wonder where did you go and probably follow you and ask mommy where are going that is where you can tell them your feelings and thoughts.
    I know it sounds easy for me to say but you never know kids are very smart.
    I hope this works for you it does for me. When you leave the room close the door behind you but at the same time wait and see what happens. GL Don't do this too often they will probably get use to you doing this and not care anymore.

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:04 AM on Dec. 11, 2008


    Answer by tntornado45 at 9:10 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Butterfly: I have done this to no avail. The problem is that they just don't seem to care. Yesterday, I had a Christmas project to do with the girls and it was fighting amongst themselves, then I made them watch me put it together and then they all told me that I was putting it together wrong, and that I had to do this or that....I was like NO! You are basically telling me that I am stupid! I asked if they would like it if I would say that to them. Of course they didn't. But there is no respect. I know it's only going to get worse if I don't get a handle on it right now! They don't respect other's property or feelings or the fact that SO and I ARE in charge!!

    Answer by Babylove76 at 9:10 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Have they been tested for ADHD? A disability could be the cause of this type of behavior. There is no one test for this, but we recently found out that the issues my own son was having was due to ADHD. There are many variations of these disabilities and you have to start with their pediatrician to find out if this may be the cause. Bring it up to him/her and take it from there. Good luck to you, I do remember this question from a while back and at that time I was a bit flippant, I apologize for that.

    Answer by hibicent at 9:12 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I have 5 children & altho they are not babies. But whentryino get chilrens attention & wen U want to TALK w/him bend down and go 2 their eye level. Express N soft voice wat U R feeling. "I asked U 2 Pik up your toys.Mama duz not want 2 get mad. Y do U feel U dont have 2 pik up yr toys?"They ND 2 B gain the respect  U as their Mother. Kids R taught by learned B havior. R U showing them a gud examplewen U sum 1 ask U 2 do sumthing? If U nd 2 chat more..Em me..

    Spiriual Advisor/On-Line Life Coach


    Answer by MamaGuru at 9:16 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • MamaGuru: I have tried this. They are 12, 8 and 6 years old. The 8 yo is very defiant, but has made slight progress. The 12 yo is rebelling - thought I had another year to the teen stuff! And the 6 yo follows all the bad stuff her sister's do. Talking has not helped. We have made it very crystal clear that we expect obedience AND respect - yet nothing changes.

    Answer by Babylove76 at 9:26 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Alright listen, this is a well known case of 'Who-has-the-power'. You're girls know you are not the leader, they have you wrapped around their cute little fingers and you're letting them. DO NOT EVER RESULT TO ANGER/HITTING/SPANKING! That only puts fear into your kids. You dont want them to fear you, you want them to respect you. I'll write a more detailed message to you. :D

    Answer by cthorn14 at 9:40 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I have boys, but they are around that age. They only listen when my head actually spins and lightning bolts come out of my eyes! Last night I threatened to not feed my 11 yo dinner because he wouldn't feed the rabbit. Of course, I would have fed him.... but I wanted him to realize the rabbit needs to eat and how would he feel if I didn't feed him? They eventually do what they are told, after a lot of blank stares from them and threats from me. I can't wait for this stage to pass!

    Answer by drowninginboys at 10:28 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • girls can be really bad at that kind of stuff, i was always arguing with my sisters & my always shouted but it never got any where, why dont you try seperating them when stuff like that happens,put locks on doors?? be calm and if they dont listen take things like there phone or use of computer??

    Answer by Chazzms at 11:19 AM on Dec. 11, 2008