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3 Bumps

As a mother who placed, how do the adoptive parents make you feel?

Happy sad angry? Mine made me feel like i was 'trailer park trash while they mocked and insulted me, and i constantly felt i was walking on eggshells round them.....

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06Lilraysmom

Asked by 06Lilraysmom at 4:39 AM on Jun. 11, 2011 in Adoption

Level 9 (309 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • So why do you spend time around them if they make you feel like that? Stay away from them.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 6:01 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • maybe she tolerates their belittling of her so she can get updates on her child? 


    Sorry lilrays, that the chosen family deems you less than them.  I guess they don't have a clue that classing you in such a low position also makes the child from bad genes- wrong side of the tracks, too.  jerks.  


    I'm betting they didn't act like this before you surrendered to them?

    adopteeme

    Answer by adopteeme at 6:29 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • YIKES!!
    I hate hearing things like this. I'm sorry they make you feel that way. I couldn't imagine feeling that way about our son't birthfamily in general, specifically his birthmom!
    kristen308

    Answer by kristen308 at 6:38 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I'm sorry they are making you feel that way.
    But kuddos to you, for making a very hard decision with your child's best interest in mind.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 7:40 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • My son's adoptive parents make me feel weak and inferior. Prior to placing I looked up to them, I loved them more than my own parents and they treated me with such respect and I believed they truly cared about me...as time went on I felt more and more like they saw me as inferior and weak, that I didn't matter to them in anyway :(
    It's unfortunate but even 19 yrs later I continue to pretend that it doesn't bother me, making efforts to get some updates on my child. I have not received one update or picture from them in 7 years, but I continue to try.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 3:41 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • As an adoptive mom, this makes me sad. I am sorry they made you feel that way.
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 5:32 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I did have to tolerate the way i was treated because it was the only way i could see my daughter. They most definitely did not act like this before i surrendered, they made me believe i was part of the family and they respected me.... Now they have so little respect for me, that they closed the adoption, on mothers day of all days without reason or explanation. I put up with the way they were because i knew if i stood up for myself they could slam that door shut. I was powerless, and they knew that and exploited that.
    06Lilraysmom

    Comment by 06Lilraysmom (original poster) at 6:41 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I am so so sorry. Mother's Day of all days !!!! Wow that is so painful. Hugs to you.
    ramajil

    Answer by ramajil at 8:43 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I'm so sorry they treated you that way. What a horrible slap in the face after you had a choice of adoptive parents and you chose to make them a family. It's horrible.

    My sons adoptive parents have always treated me with respect. My son just turned 23. They tell me that I hold a special place in their hearts and when talking about me with my son talk with respect and love. We are good friends and have spent many holidays and family gatherings together.
    onethentwins

    Answer by onethentwins at 2:33 PM on Jun. 13, 2011

  • You can't control their actions but you can control how you feel. No one can make you feel like trash without your permission...you should say to yourself that you know you are not those things and prove them wrong.
    2ndtimewish

    Answer by 2ndtimewish at 10:35 PM on Jun. 14, 2011

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