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2 Bumps

How do you tell your family to butt out of your child raring?

my whole life my family thought everything i did was wrong, and as i got older it got worse. My brother went so far as to say to me in FRONT of my middle son that when he grows up he's destined to live most his life in jail or prison. My mother is always making little comments to my youngest son about how in her words "he's always stuck up your butt" and " if he spends the night i will NOT let him go home if he wakes up and wants to go home" yet if one of my brothers' kids cry they want to go home she'll actually drive them home. Then theres my daughter she is always treated awesome like she can do no wrong.... that is until we moved back to the same state as my family live. i also homeschooled my boys and since moving back to the state all of my family and this includes both brothers state i should stick them back in public school ... well i don't think thats for our family but they've went so far as to have CPS come talk to my daughter in her school ( she chose public school) and she's only 13, no one came to talk to me just her.
my family already think that it's my fault my mom's on dialysis so anything i say or do to protect my kids and let them know to stay out of how i raise them get put back on how i'm a horrible person, horrible mother, and even worse sister and daughter.
how do i tell them to STHU with out causing a big brewhaha and being blamed for yet something else?
ps, i've already disowned one of my brothers and father but not for the reasons above... and i honestly miss my brother.

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Asked by pinkrayn at 11:44 AM on Jun. 11, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 11 (639 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Sounds like there is MUCH more to the story.

    Were you young when you had your kids? Are you not married? Do you have something in your past (bad life choice) that jaded their view of you? There sounds like there is something in your past that makes them think you are not on the right track. It would be odd for a whole family to think ill of one person if there is nothing in their pass to cloud their view.

    That doesnt mean you are not on the right track NOW.... it just seems like there has to be MUCH more to this story.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Just remind them these are your children and you will and can raise them any way you choose to. They raised or are raising theirs and you are raising yours. Then I would limit all contact and visits until they get it. You don't need to deal with that kind of interference and stress for ever. You aren't asking them for help so they need to stop offering.


    Answer by meooma at 11:52 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • "how do i tell them to STHU with out causing a big brewhaha and being blamed for yet something else? "
    I doubt if you can. you may just be better off without them.

    if it was me, I'd contact the relatives that have been shunned if you miss them. :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:54 AM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I'd cut off contact. *shrug*

    Answer by thatgirl70 at 12:07 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I told them they had their opportunity with their child and now it's my time to try it my way.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:09 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Message me if you want. I deal with the same thing from my in laws and half the time my own family. I would be more than happy to share my story and give you advice about yours but please contact my privately.

    Answer by kazmia at 4:19 AM on Jun. 13, 2011

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