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So if I had just stayed on assistance THEN would it have been ok to keep having kids?? Grrr! adult content

How can people say that when a woman is a homemaker that kids are suppose to be her only life...and then when she becomes a worker that her work is her only life that matters?

WTF is this? So a woman that is married and has 1 child is suppose to stop having kids to "work on" her career? Before I finished school and even while I was still attending people were NAGGING about when I was going to have another one! Before I left the hospital with my son everyone wanted to know WHEN we were having another baby! Just because I didn't have my kids 2 yrs apart like everyone else did doesn't mean I have to stop. My kid would be almost 7 when he had a sibling if I got pregnant right now. Just because I made the choice to stop and work on myself and help out my husband doesn't mean that I don't have the right to extend our family! I'm so pissed off that people think OUR money is all that matters! Nobody had a problem with me being on foodstamps and not working though. Now that I got in with a Health Center and will be providing the insurance plus my own income which will be way more than we need (because hubby now makes about $2,500 a month) why the F**** do people think they have the right to decide for me? I had 2 miscarriages. Yes they hurt but if I have to pay for fertility testing or anything I WILL be able to.
This is more of a vent. I mean I just don't get it. Career women CAN have kids too. I'm ashamed to admit that my family seems more supportive of SAHM's on assistance. I chose not to be like that after I saw hubby going through jobs looking for more every time so we didn't need help. I am proud of what I've accomplished and DO want to own my business someday but people don't understand things take time and I know what I need to do and in what order. I'm just at a loss when it comes to what they're all thinking!

No offense to anyone, this is not for bashing. This is about my own family that others think I should pretty much skip because I decided to have a profession. I will do this according to US. It's just a rediculous thing for people to be so oppinionated about when I have family that are self destructful and they just look right past. Really, I am not the one they should be so "concerned" about!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Jun. 11, 2011 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • You just have to do what is right for you and your family. I have two little guys, and everyone is always asking me when I am going to go back to work. Because, you know, the woman is supposed to take care of all the finances, childcare, house, cooking, cleaning AND bring in extra income . . .

    Okay . . .my vent, too.

    Everyone will have opinions, and people are never satisfied . . . so we just have to do what we can . . .

    Hang in there.
    ImaginationMama

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 1:44 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I see no reason why you can't wait to have another one. I have a sister about 2 1/2 years younger than I am, and my baby brother is 10 years younger than I am. my mom had been thinking about having him for about 3 years before she did.
    my husband has a young brother that's 17 years younger than he is.

    Nothing wrong with waiting if you want to IMO.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 12:53 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I don't really get the question on this, I kind of feel confused after reading this. But what I can say just from my own experience is I go to school I'm a Junior in College, and I am the co-owner of my fiances business. I have one toddler and plan to have another baby within the next 2 years. I'm not on assistance, I'm not sure if you are, but you referenced it, and my SO used to bring in 2500 a month, and that was hard on us for where we live, that was just enough to get by here, so I;m sure you working helps a lot, plus healthcre, that's great. My SO keeps his part time job working as a manaer at a grocery stoe just to get cheap health care.
    And you can have both career and family. You needed to wait for a second one, thats what you need, your own business, I don't want to wait...lol But I am able to be home a lot so it's what works for me.
    DomoniqueWS

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 12:55 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I was on assistance when they all thought I should just go have a second right away. Now we are not. $2500 is enough for us for everything we need including 2 car payments and we still have some left over
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:02 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • So your question is? Or is this just a rant?
    babycakes254

    Answer by babycakes254 at 2:25 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Such a rant so I edited so you see what I mean haha
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:05 PM on Jun. 11, 2011