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What would you do about this?

My 12 yr old son who is diagnosed with Aspergers, has been picked on throughout his whole school career. I finally thought I had it taken care of after speaking to a few of the mothers of the kids that seem to be the worst offenders (since the school never did anything about it). But now he has a group of GIRLS that have started on him they are calling him a fag and asking him how his boyfriend is. He is really upset about this as am I but at this point I dont even know where to begin. Im so tired of fighting with these stupid people that dont seem to do anything about the harassment my child gets. Oh and this starts right after I read an article about a fifteen yr old boy who commited suicide after yrs of the same thing my son has been going through.

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Asked by My3Sons3121 at 10:44 AM on Dec. 11, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

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Answers (10)
  • My sons high functioning autistic and he has been through alot himself. Basically the way I handled it was by going and sitting with the principle and spelling out to him I planned on doing a formal complaint with the DC office if nothing was done. Its a civil liberty question believe it or not. If you contact these ppl they can help you. They did me. But make sure you follow up and do all the paperwork asked.

    Answer by gemgem at 10:49 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I second what gemgem said. Make sure you go all out fighting for his rights and don't stop until the problem is fixed.

    Answer by tyheamma at 12:05 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Hey sweetheart,

    I follow the advice the other moms. Don't give up. Keep fighting. Children can be cruel but if their parents don't stop it just shows what kinda parents raise the children. Your son nor you should have to go through that your plate is full as it is. I would hold a meeting with the principal and school board and tell them how it is! Love ya darlin, keep ya chin up!

    Answer by MommaC79 at 12:24 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Thanks so much for the responses. I am definitely looking for an advocate for his iep meeting which is in January. I have had enough of this behavior from other children whose parents arent teaching their children and kind of tolerance. Thanks again...

    Answer by My3Sons3121 at 1:46 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Awwww....girl...I am so sorry you have to deal with this! Kids are SO cruel these really is sad!

    I agree with gemgem. If the principal doesn't want to do anything, go above him/her. Ya know, I don't think people get jobs with the schools because they want to help kids...I think they get them because of the "vacation time" so to speak...

    I hope you get everything resolved. ***HUGS***

    Answer by Richelle3 at 1:48 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • That is horrible. Kids can be SOOOO mean. It's disgusting. The parents just don't teach them how to be nice! I would be inclined to put him in private school, if I could afford it, or just homeschool him. Poor guy. It'll either kill his self-esteem or make him very strong. Keep insisting to him how great he is and that he is worth so much and that what these girls tell him means nothing. They are just insecure and make themselves feel better by picking on him. He should just ignore them and pray for them.

    Answer by feesharose at 3:58 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • well i think the best way to handle it is to go in and show the principal whos boss or take it up with the kids parents. tell their parents, that usually works. i went through this for awhile (only i appearently was pregnant in 6th grade @.@ it wasnt even possible) my mom got so mad she went into the school slammed my books on his desk and said that if he didnt do something about she would withdrawl me and they wouldnt get their money. she also said she wanted the addresses of the girls starting the rumors. she went to their houses while they were at school and told their parents what theyve been doing. they left me alone after that.

    Answer by xhellxfirex495 at 10:59 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I'm so sorry that they are doing this to your son! We had a boy in my school with aspergers he was actually a really cool guy if you could just look past his social disabilities. I used to yell at people who made fun of him, I even slapped a girl once because she used to borrow money from him all the time and never give it back. Since it sounds like your son doesn't have anyone like me there to befriend him I vote you do what gem gem said. Kids just aren't getting taught to respect other people and accept that being different is okay, and i really don't like it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:30 AM on Dec. 12, 2008

  • Nobody can put up with working in a school for the vacation time - let me tell you. It's the hardest job I've ever had, and I've been an accountant, in business, retail, construction, you name it, I've done it.

    Here's the problem: A school can NOT make people NICE. We can't make those kids have conscience. We can't make them treat each other like they want to be treated. We can punish them if we SEE it, and follow the handbook's list of disciplinary actions. Often when we step in, it makes bullying worse. Truth: there is very little that the principals or counselors can do about it. Talk to them, tell them it's not nice, maybe a day of detention.

    It's not the school's fault that these students are little monsters. It's their parents' fault.

    Answer by 3gymnastsmom at 2:48 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

  • (cont.)
    Public school is where ALL of society has to get along in the same building. No other place do you have to put up with EVERYONE your age for a long period of time. Think about it. If you work retail, you have to put up with the worst of society, but they only spend 30 minutes in your store once a week maybe. Same for medical profession or other places that deal with "everyone".

    A lot of bad people out there make bad kids, and schools have to take everyone.

    I'm sorry your son is being bullied. That is awful and I hope it stops soon.
    What do you expect the school to do about it? The only thing I have ever seen work is for the kid to take up for himself.

    Answer by 3gymnastsmom at 2:50 PM on Dec. 14, 2008

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