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Any advice?

I Have 3 children a 4 year old a 2 year old and a 6 month old, and I am a SHAM. My 4 year old and my 2 year old do not listen to me at all and this has went on for a long time now. They don't listen when I tell them no, going out to eat is a thing of the past, they will yell and scream and take off running, we have been asked to leave a restaurant before. And At home they trash the house, break things, color on the walls. Today they have even spit in my face. I have tried time out about a minute for each year old they are, I have tried taking things away, there TV time, favorite toys, etc. Anything we do is a mess grocery store they scream and yell the whole time and I just keep shopping because I don't want to give in to them but it is so embarrassing. When They came up and spit in my face because I took there TV for grabbing a chair and Climbing on the kitchen sink and taking the sprayer and drowning my kitchen I put them into there time out chairs in the corner and they set there and laughed. After awhile they quit laughing and I brought them over to me and asked them did they know what they did wrong and what did they learn that's when they spit on me and ran off. Right now I have let them Be until I calm down because I don't believe in punishing while I am angry. But what should I do? They listen to there dad and grandma but even now that is really not working. I don't go with my friends and there kids to the park or to lunch because they run and I have to chase them, they dart in the road and it scares me so bad. I love my kiddos and I just wish they would mind so we could do things like normal people without getting stared at or asked to leave....

Answer Question
 
piorkowski

Asked by piorkowski at 3:54 PM on Jun. 11, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 11 (561 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • have dh talk to them. Very seriously and sternly. We did this when ds was disrespecting me. Dh sat him down and told him that I was HIS WIFE and he is not to disrespect me. It helps them to see that you are more than just their mommy and are special to someone else.
    Oh and take everything away, I mean EVERYTHING. Toys, movies, books, tv, EVERYTHING. Make them earn it back. Tell them that diserspectful kids do not deserve anything and as long as they want to behave that way they will be treated that way.
    Good luck.
    AmandaH321

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 4:04 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I will have my DH talk to them when he gets home from work. I just kinda feel run down, and kinda like a waste or failure. I mean Being A SHAM is my job and when my hubby comes home to a mess and dinner halfway done and the kids getting into everything it makes me feel bad. I want to/ have trie running my home on a routine as far as meal times, play times snack times bed times etc. I get them washed up and put to bed at 8 and last night I kept putting them back into there room until 5 this morning. I would love to be able to do my chores and have dinner ready when my hubby gets home. Friends call all the time and ask if they can stop by and visit and I always have to make an excuse. I think my relationships with my hubby and my friends and starting to suffer. My hubby and I get no us time because I am always chasing the kids cleaning up messes and fighting them to stay in bed that he gives up and goes to sleep.
    piorkowski

    Comment by piorkowski (original poster) at 4:15 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Which doesnt bother me he needs to get rest so he can be awake and do good at his job. I just kinda want to be like my house is clean when he comes home kids are ready to eat dinner is done and then at like 7 start the bedtime routine and 8 bedtime. That way I can snuggle up and watcg a movie with my hubby or so we can have friends over on the weekend for a movie or what not. But because I am so busy I eat my dinner and finishing up my cleaning at like 11 or 12 the time in between there is dealing with the kids, trying to clean crayon drawings off my wall etc. I make sure to get up at 6 that way I can take a shower and have the only one on one time with my hubby before he goes to work (a cup of coffee) Then I start on breakfast for the kids and from then on everything goes crazy. I cant wait for my hubby to get home to talk to the kids maybe one day My household wont always seem so crazy.
    piorkowski

    Comment by piorkowski (original poster) at 4:23 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Are they jealous of the new baby? Try spending one on one with each of them and then doing something as a group,even playing a game(include the baby) For example playing Candy Land ask the kids what color the baby should be and let them take turns moving/his/her piece.
    RobinChristine

    Answer by RobinChristine at 7:57 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Wow.. You have your hands full. I would not have my husband talk to them because they will only continue to act out with you and listen to their daddy. It is hard to get your kids under control when you feel like all you do is get onto them 24/7. I know where you are coming from. But when you say something to them. Make sure you stick to your word. Don't give up because they think it's funny or you just feel like it's easier to let them do whatever so your not having to yell or punish them for the 1Oth time in an hour. Be consistent. Punish them when they are misbehaving and reward them for behaving. Even if the reward is your praise. I am sure the oldest is acting out for attention and the middle child is following behind. It is weird that children want attention even if it's negative attention.. You seem to be doing the right things with your punishments, but when They stop working, try another punishment or add time
    Sistawolf

    Answer by Sistawolf at 8:44 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

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