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Why don't some adoptive parents support their children's search for biological parents?

I was just curious as to why sometimes adoptive parents will not support their child's search. I would think that this would be most important to an adopted child.


Asked by Kellyjude1 at 5:16 PM on Jun. 11, 2011 in Adoption

Level 18 (5,475 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • At this point I think adoptive parents have a choice: be supportive or they will do it without you. I prefer to be a source of comfort while my child walks that journey. While I can't walk the road with him, I can be there at the beginning of his path and be waiting with open arms at the end. As I just typed that I just realized how that fits first moms. They are there in the beginning of this journey, choose a path for their children to start out on, and hope their child will find the way back home. Here is to hoping that path is lit brightly with information, suppotive families, and eventual reunification.

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:46 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Because everyone should have an option to be able to find out where they came from.

    Answer by older at 5:17 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Sorry didn't read the "not", some parents feel threaten by this........

    Answer by older at 5:19 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I think some are threatened...Most are just being protective of their baby's heart. If they have an open adoption, there might not be the angst of finding the bio parents and there might be more information available to the adopted child.  Honesty is the key to saving sad, hurt, confusing feelings.


    Answer by ochsamom at 5:28 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • My mom is adopted and her adoptive parents were against it. She told them that they didn't understand because they weren't adopted. they had no idea what she was feeling or experiencing. So, I think it comes down to not understanding.

    Answer by hill_star03 at 5:29 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I guess every adoption situation differs. My son's birthmom and I have a very good bond. I could not imagine not having her be a part of his life. I have read and have known other situations where the adoptive parents are not supportive. One situation that I know of made the adopted child feel he had to chose, and that is sad. I asked this question only to see how everyone feels. Thank you for your reponses.

    Comment by Kellyjude1 (original poster) at 5:37 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Some do and some don't and they each have their own reasons.

    Answer by meooma at 5:53 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Giving AParents the benefit of the doubt, there could be some circumstances to which the adoptee should not be exposed to the BParents...drugs, violence, severe mental issues, etc...until they are at the very least mature enough to handle.

    But I fear that many are just scared of what they believe could happen...adoptee liking BParents more, tossing AParents aside and claim only BParents, wanting to be adopted back by BParents, or even that the BParents will want the child back and either fight for them or kidnap them, etc.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 7:14 PM on Jun. 11, 2011