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PLEASE... How can i work things out with my lying boyfriend?

I met my BF about 2 years ago. He was dating someone and i was dating that someone's brother. But from the first time i saw him i knew i was in love with him. After both of us were finally single again, we started dating. It was very casual at first on his part because me having a kid made him a little uncomfortable. But eventually we were together everyday, taking outta town trips, spending the weekends at each other's houses, and looking at our future together. But last weekend i was sleeping at his house and some girl starts knocking on his window and his front door. He just kept lying to me about who she was. Eventually he came clean and said it was an "ex hook-up" of his, and they had made plans to hang out that day. I was so crushed. I love him with all my heart and i still want to be with him. But now he says he is so mad at himself for hurting me, and doesn't know if he can work through this. What should i do?

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Asked by ljepsen at 10:56 AM on Dec. 11, 2008 in About CafeMom

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Answers (5)
  • Wait, so he arranged to meet up with this girl whilst he was going out with you? Quite honestly I would wait to see what he does to make up for it and keep a very close eye on him if you want to carry on with this. See how this plays out if you're willing to give him a second chance, and make it clear to him that you're not happy with his behaviour and that it was unacceptable. Good Luck.

    Answer by haleykarson at 10:59 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • You last sentence implies he isnt serious about you. Thats his weak excuse for not working through it.

    Good luck but I wouldnt bother.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I do not believe that he is mad at himself for hurting you. He sounds immature and sounds like he needs to grow up. If you do not trust him now your future is not too bright. You will be looking in his pockets, checking his phone and spending wasted energy. He could not come clean when you asked who she was...your words he kept lying to you. I would move onto someone more sturdy and trustworthy.

    Answer by Dannee at 11:07 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I say leave him. I was in a relationship for 3 1/2 years with a guy he cheated on me and said he'd never do it again but throughout the relationship he continued to do it. I believe once a cheater always a cheater. Plus he tried to lie to you about it. I think you should leave him. Find someone you can trust and that can love you back as much as you love them.

    Answer by CourtneyAnn8690 at 5:05 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Leave him you now have a child to think about which makes it more complicated on your part what hurts you in turn hurts your child so if you cant trust him then you cant trust him with your child what would happen if he did cheat on you and had your child with him? What would you do then what would you tell your child to do if someone ever cheated on them? Wouldn't you want them to leave them immediately? You can find someone better someone that can love you for you and love your child just as much you desirve better than a lying cheater....

    Answer by WhitAndAnt at 5:35 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

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