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"You can't."

Okay, so like, the last few months or so all of a sudden I'm "not allowed" to go over to one of my SO's friends house with him. I said something about them not raising their child and they heard me, but they got over it. We all hang out, they come over here. But whenever Jeff goes over there, he tells me I'm not allowed over there and I "know why." Personally, a few times this has made me think that he's meeting someone else over there, cheating or something. I don't know.

So now he's mad at me cause he did it again last night and I go "You know, then they're not allowed here anymore. It's my house too and I feel disrespected letting them come in here when they're saying things behind my back."

I think I have every right, don't I?
How would you handle the situation?

 
oliviasmomma09

Asked by oliviasmomma09 at 11:13 AM on Dec. 11, 2008 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (20)
  • Yes, I think you have every right in this situation. Are you sure that it's not about the child comment? I would talk to your husband about it and demand that he tell you why it is that you're not allowed to go there. You're completely within your rights to stop them coming to your house, why should you let them if you're not allowed in theirs? BUT I would handle it as gently as possible, try to sound calm because it may make the situation worse if you don't. Good Luck with this.
    haleykarson

    Answer by haleykarson at 11:17 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • No, I knew that's why they were mad. I said it a long time ago, when they were living with her parents and pushing the baby on them CONSTANTLY. And I was waiting for them and Jeff was over there, I was getting pissy waiting so long and jeff was like "they have to get addison ready" and I was like "oh they're actually going to take care of her?" and I was on speaker. I told them both I was just irritated and i really didn't mean it, and billy never really cared and Em got over it and even told me she was okay she understands I was mad. it was almost a year ago. And we all still hang out and stuff but ever since they moved into their own place, oh I'm not allowed there. and I've never heard it from them, just Jeff. and he gets mad that I get pissed. It's not fair to me that I have to sit home all the time while he goes off and does whatever.
    oliviasmomma09

    Answer by oliviasmomma09 at 11:20 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • It's really not fair, I would talk to him about going without you as it is unfair for you to have to sit alone to somewhere that you are not allowed to go to. If he carries on going without you after you've talked to him about it then I would demand a reason as to why you are not allowed there and if he does not answer I would ring your friends up and ask them why. But not sound as if you're demanding when you ask them if that makes sense. Good Luck.
    haleykarson

    Answer by haleykarson at 11:22 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I know what you mean. And I will. I've tried to talk to him about it a couple times recently but my hormones are all whacky, and I get emotional. So I just stop.
    oliviasmomma09

    Answer by oliviasmomma09 at 11:26 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Have you every called them and asked them your self if your allowed there, well I'm sure they would of coarse say yes but I don't know. You do have that right but you need to figure out why you can't go ther or aren't allowed. If it was me I would be asking my SO ten million questions but that's just how I am, although I do get the truth in the end but then I usually end up pretty unhappy with the outcome. Do try talking to your husband about the situation.
    Lizzie32390

    Answer by Lizzie32390 at 11:26 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • IMO..Any man that would go to some one's house and know those people do not want his SO there is really being disrespectful. His priorities seem a little out of whack.

    FrugalZenMom

    Answer by FrugalZenMom at 11:28 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Um - yeah - that sounds fishy to me. If I'm not allowed somewhere, then neither is my husband. It's a packaged deal. I mean, how would HE feel if you went out wherever without him b/c he "wasn't allowed"? Talk to him...calmly...rationally.... and if he acts anything BUT rational I'd start diggin'!
    AggieMamacita

    Answer by AggieMamacita at 11:30 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Package deal. This is so childish . Been there hun. Good luck and try to make peace during the holidays. I did that but she still acted the same and then finally my hubby blow them off. It took me a very long time to convince my husband. He had to see it for himself how phony they were. Now it has been 5 years. I don't miss their bs drama at all. Good luck!
    jareda69

    Answer by jareda69 at 11:33 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Jareda69.
    That's another thing, half the time I can't see how he's stil friends with them. One time bill got mad at us, and came and STOLE OUR COMPUTER. Tried to lie about it until someone he worked with told Jeff he had it. Em, (before we were togehter) got mad at bill and wanted JEff to have sex with her. It's just like..ugh.
    oliviasmomma09

    Answer by oliviasmomma09 at 11:39 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I would be so mad if my dh was doing that. How is going to keep going to someone's house if his wife isn't allowed to go?? I would definately talk to them and see if that actually true, and either way have a talk with your dh. Either way, it sounds like he's either lying to you or just being disrespectful. I definately think you have every right to be upset about this! I hope you get it resolved!
    mom2XandZ

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 11:54 AM on Dec. 11, 2008