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3 Bumps

Do you "let" your S/O?

I have seen questions that are aksed like this all the time. And it really bugs me. Perhaps its just a posters poor choice of words, but really do other woman treat their S/O like a child.

I would never fathom telling my husband that he could not do something. There has been times where he was planning something and I didn't feel comftorble, and we talked about it. But I could never imagine showing such disrespect towards him by telling him that he could not do something. Nor would I tolerate him treating me in that way. But I have had woman in my life that would say "you need to make him do this".

Do you tell your SO what they can and cannot do... and if so, do you allow them to do the same to you?

Answer Question
 
daughteroftruth

Asked by daughteroftruth at 7:44 PM on Jun. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,602 Credits)
Answers (29)
  • nope, we are both adults....
    peanutsmommy1

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 7:44 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • No
    momma_2_3kids

    Answer by momma_2_3kids at 7:48 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • No I don't TELL him that he can't do certain things but I do ASK him not to do them....he used to be really bad about telling me to do things...finally I started saying "that's not the way you ask me to do something/not to do something" he got the hint now he makes sure that he puts his requests in the form of a question lol
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 7:49 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I've had the very same thought, sooooo many times! *bump*
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 7:51 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Its funny do you let your let they are raised already there is nothing you let them do.
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 7:53 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I don't tell him what to do although we do have discussions about things. When we were first married he went away 1 weekend a month with this friends. This never really bothered me although as our kids got older I needed more help and our lives changed. We talked about how he could still go away although not as much and we worked things out. I agree that I would never want him telling me I couldn't do something, yet I value his opinion therefore we usually talk about everything.

    cornflakegirl3

    Answer by cornflakegirl3 at 7:54 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I use the phrase sometimes, but what I mean is that either I have asked him to reconsider doing whatever it is because I am not comfortable with it, or we have prior plans, or we talked about it and came to a reasonable agreement.
    Xynyth

    Answer by Xynyth at 7:54 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • There are times yes, that I tell him that he cannot do something. Usually it's because he will just spring something on me that we have not planned for, so we have not saved up the money. Other than that, no.
    A.Perry

    Answer by A.Perry at 7:55 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I have several friends who don't say "no" flat out, but I know that if their SO doesn't follow the "request" that they will make their lives hell for it. My husband has many friends who will often say "no, I can't, my wife won't let me". I would hate to live under someone's thumb like that.

    If the tables were turned and it was the man telling the woman what she could not do, it would be considered abusive.
    daughteroftruth

    Comment by daughteroftruth (original poster) at 8:03 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • I would say that in the last 14 years, it has happened from either of us about twice. By the time it gets to the point that someone outright forbids something, we know it is REALLY damn serious. I'm not talking about "you're not going out with your friends", but major things.

    I don't think we own each other, but I DO think that we are obligated to each other. I can't "make" him do anything, but I also don't have to stick around for something I outright will not tolerate...by the time we have ever "told" the other what was or was not going to happen, it was the last alternative before leaving.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 8:13 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

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