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do children have a say bout who they want to go with if thier parents divorce?

 
Chazzms

Asked by Chazzms at 11:23 AM on Dec. 11, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (9)
  • nope not till they are 12 and i dont know thats in all states. At 12 the judge will here them say who they want to live with but doesnt mean they will give them their choice. but if they are under 12 the judge decides in the end unless both parents can come to agreement. if you come up with a parenting plan that works for you both and you agree then they let you do things your way.
    Mommy2B04

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 11:26 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • in most states if the child is over 12 or 13 they do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • it really depends on the judge and the age of the children if the judge feels they are old enough and mature enough to make that kind of decision i am sure that they would take that into consideration
    jodi205

    Answer by jodi205 at 11:25 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Depending on the state, there's a certain age, yes they can involve themselves in the decision. It doesn't always end up the way they want, but they're opinion is heard.
    oliviasmomma09

    Answer by oliviasmomma09 at 11:30 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • if they are at least the age of twelve i think that they can talk to the judge and say who they want to live with.
    mrssundin

    Answer by mrssundin at 11:41 AM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • It depends on the state. In my state if parent's disagree on custody, they appoint a guardian ad litum (not sure I spelled that right) who interviews both parents and the children and makes a report to the judge. So the children's wishes are considered, but it's also considered that they are kids and that maybe they want to live with the parent who gives them more ice cream and less discipline for example, and what they prefer is not always what is in their best interests. My state does not have an age where children get to choose for themselves.
    riotgrrl

    Answer by riotgrrl at 12:22 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Not all states give weight to the childrens wants even at 12. the lady above me is correct with the GAL.
    mamakirs

    Answer by mamakirs at 12:53 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • It all depends on the age & maturity of the child and how far the parents are willing to go for custody. If custody and parenting time can't be agreed upon, the judge may talk to the children to get a feel for what they want and why.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 1:12 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • In some cases children can have some input but usually a family court judge will make that decision unless the child is a teenager and sometimes even then they do not get to make that decision if there is a good reason why - such as the parent they want to live with is abusive or has addiction issues, ect...
    I do think that children of any age should be able to at least tell a judge privately whom they would like to live with. We don't give children enough credit. They know what is going on and often have very good insight. Rather than put them in the middle I am a fan of a third party professional talking to them. Not just a volunteer guardian ad litem in some cases.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 1:41 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

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