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2 Bumps

I don't trust him (long, sorry)

My husband has been a horrible liar since we first started dating. He would lie about the stupidest things, like what time the pool closed or wether he walked the dog. We've been to therapy twice and she says he feels he needs to lie based on things that happened in his childhood. I'll admit, he doesn't lie as often as he use to.

Then he has had these friendships with other women that just were getting to far for my comfort. The first was when we were dating, they worked together and I told him she wanted more. He didn't believe me until she said I wasn't good enough for him and he should be with her. He ended the friendship.
Next was a woman he worked with (again) and she began texting him all the time. About things she saw on the street and other stupid stuff. I told him, a woman wouldn't be texting you these things unless she likes you in a different way. These are things you text your best friend or SO, not just a co-worker. Sure enough, she got drunk and flashed him her breasts at the xmas party! I asked him to stop talking to her and he did.
Last was the hardest. It was a woman he actually did work for and he gave his cell phone number, as he does for many customers, in case of emergency. She began texting him a lot and he would text her back. I just happened to see one of the texts come across one time while he was sleeping. He had deleted all previous texts. He gave me an excuse I didn't believe and in the morning, he told me something more believable. I decided to check our cell records and saw that they were texting each other continuously for a few weeks. Sometimes more than 100 text in one day! This was while I was suffering a miscarriage, was rushed to emergency for the loss of blood AND I found the message on our anniversary! He told me nothing more happened, and for some reason, I believe that.
Now though he is going to school at night and there are a lot of group projects and majority of the class are women. He went tonight to meet with his group, 3 women, and I just have a hard time trusting that none of these are going to turn into something more. He thinks I overreact. Would you trust him?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Jun. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I think you have your answer. He lies non-stop. You cant even trust him so why stay with him? I think he did stuff with all 3 women to be honest.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 11:07 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Trust your gut instinct.
    Simplicity3

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 11:09 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • My man lies all the time about things that matter and that don't. He makes up things for no reason. I just don't understand it. Once when i knew he lied and I had proof I asked him to look me in the face and answer me,he lied next i said well if you gonna lie to my face let's see if you fear god more than me and he put his hand on the bible and lied. I live with him yes but I don't believe anything he says, I wish I didn't care so much for him. I am a rather attractive 5 ft 4 inch 110 pounds,44 year old, Very busy,intelligent with thee most gorgeous kids,I love God and my family. I have had men everywhere try to talk to me and i ignor them because I love him.I just want to be loved back,sometimes i feel like lying to him but that's just not me.
    adg67lis

    Answer by adg67lis at 11:31 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • if you do not have any kids together.... then i would say leave him now. even if it is hard and you are scared. things get a lot more complicated with the involvement of children. and i am sorry for your miscarriage.... but if you dont trust someone... is this really the person you want to be having children with? it will just get more upsetting probably. ust my opinion. good luck.
    DRM0329

    Answer by DRM0329 at 11:37 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • we do have 2 children together...... I'm not ready to leave.......yet.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:57 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • i would try to find out why he feels the need to lie
    maybe he feels afraid?
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 1:31 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Hell no I wouldn't trust him. I had a past relationship like this. My ex lied ALL the time, and about stupid shit too. Like one lie that was just ridiculous was, he had this "condition" that he gets really angry just randomly, and he turns animalistic and the gov did a bunch of tests on him and hes broken every single bone in his body and healed miraculously within just a few days....buncha bs. Last lie I just couldn't take was he was ignoring me a lot, like I didn't hear from him for a week, and I was like..dude can you at least say hi or something, and he said, what its not like I'm cheating on you. Then my best friend who was at a party with him said that he saw him go into a room with this girl, and you just know what they were doing. I broke up with his ass, and then I found out I got an std, which was just disgusting. Lying isn't good at all.
    monstersmommy20

    Answer by monstersmommy20 at 4:00 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • i wouldn't trust him either if you know for sure that he has in fact cheated on you. you need to give him a choice, the other women or you. it may hurt to do but this will let you know what is really going on and what your next step should be
    RShilling

    Answer by RShilling at 10:47 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I was in a 3 year relationship with a man that lied all the time. And I found out he was cheating and doing other things as well, and I got hurt and so did my children. And I dont understand why men love to lie to us women when we do everything for them, like cook, clean, wash/dry their clothes, etc. But I believe men do lie b/c they think they can get away with it, but really us women are always one step ahead of them and always figure them out. But you need to do what I did...Follow your woman's instinct. And always listen to it. I just hope you realize that he is not going to stop lying to you, or stop talking to other women. And he is never gonna change, and you cant change him, people have to change for themselves. I just hope you will figure something out soon before you and your children get hurt more then you already are. Good Luck, and God Bless!
    Alabamamama06

    Answer by Alabamamama06 at 11:14 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • not lying as often as he used to is still lying. you need to decide if you want to live with someone you can't trust and will want your children to be brought up in that environment- seeing you worry and wonder, or know that you could go out there and find a man who will not only love you and your kids, but respect you enough not to lie. good luck, it's not easy i'm sure, but you need to figure out your priorities or maybe try counseling with him again?
    lexi8622

    Answer by lexi8622 at 4:51 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

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