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How do I get rid of this ongoing depression associated with Gray's autism? I blame myself... my husband doesn't feel guilty at all. Is this a "Mom thing?"

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graysmom321

Asked by graysmom321 at 11:29 PM on Jun. 11, 2011 in Health

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • You need to get counseling--you are in for the long haul with your child so feeling guilty about something you had nothing to do with causing won't help. You need support and caring. Look for a group of other Moms with autistic children and go make friends and share your common concerns. You did not cause this and although you can make sure he gets the best care and education you can't make it go away either.
    GrammytoTrin

    Answer by GrammytoTrin at 11:52 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • Go to counseling. Your husband may not feel guilty because he knows that he and you are not to blame.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:04 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I would talk to a counselor about these feelings.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 2:47 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • that must be tough. why do you blame yourself?
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 3:15 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I think when a child is diagnosed with ANY disability, it's natural for us to feel guilty--"Did I do something wrong?" I felt the same way when my own son was diagnosed with autism. Are you part of the Autism/Asperger's group here on CM? They're a good bunch of women.
    '
    tinamatt

    Answer by tinamatt at 7:05 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I know I blamed myself for a long time about DD's situation BUT after much inner searching, I realized that the time I was spending worrying, which left me feeling powerless, could have been better spent doing something productive (researching and getting her the help she needed) which was very empowering and therapeutic for me. Things do happen that are out of our control and you can question "why" until the cows come home and still never find the answers you're looking for.

    You need a change in mind set ... it will take time but if you are floundering on your own, you may need professional help. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:26 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Mothers with children with Autism live in constant fear of not knowing what is going to happen with their children. Mothers get stressed out and this sometimes can put a restraint on their marriage.
    Is your husband blaming you for your child's Autism? I've known this is a common occurrence when Autism hits a family. Most families end up in divorce. It is very hard but that doesn't mean that your family will go though the same thing. Children with Autism can overcome the disorder with the right intervention. I would suggest to employ all your energy trying to advocate for your child. Your family specially your husband need your love and your strength more than ever.
    Cafemomoftwo217

    Answer by Cafemomoftwo217 at 7:36 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • i agree with all of the above, try to find a support system, im so sorry your child has it,but blaming yourself wont help. and i know its easier said then done. but maybe if you talk about it more exspecially w ur dh or family or a group maybe itll help.im so sorry your child has this.but it is not your fault.hugs.
    luckygirl2000

    Answer by luckygirl2000 at 8:11 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

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