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How do I fix or end a nine year broken relationship???

So i have a jealous husband, i admit that i haven't been totally honest, but the things that i have did, my conscience (or his curiosity) brought the truth to the light...My problem is, out of nine years of his lying ways and my suspicions of him cheating (4 kids together) i have only talked to one person (that being a year ago) I admit i fell for the dude because he gave me the attention that i thought i wanted...my heart tho, never allowed me to have sex with him...my husband on the other hand, found out...had him a couple of facebook affairs...swears he didn't fuck (excuse my language) and then when i found out, he had the nerve to watch me (so cold-heartedly) have the worst panic attack ever!!! (fast forward to 3 weeks ago) as of then, he claimed to have cut ALL ties with anyone he tried to get with (including 2 exes...one with whom his was in love with) but i found out that when i turn over and go to slp.....he WAKES up and PLAYS on facebook...still talking to women and looking for "friendship" I'm floored...I have really stop talking to the ONE dude i have ever talked to in the duration of this relationship...I'm sick of his jealous ways and treating as if i were his child...i can't go anywhere, talk on the fone...and our last argument consisted of me simply going to the pharmacy of the same store we where in 2gether...but he didn't want me to leave his side.....I'm young (28) and have been with him since 19...i'm fucking ready to party and stop being a wife if this is what it consists of...i never got to be the "freebird" that everyone is b4 life hits...and i'm ready to PARRRRR-TAYYYY!!!! WHAT THE HELL DO I DO I DON'T WANT MY BABIES TO GROW UP WITHOUT 2 PARENTS IN THE HOUSEHOLD!!!!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:37 PM on Jun. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Would you really want your babies to grow up in your current household though? What example are you setting for them if what they see is Mom being controlled, taken advantage of? If you think your marriage is worth fighting for, then you have a lot of work to do to get things sorted out. If there is nothing left to fight for, then it may be best to get out of it all together. I think kids are happier when their parents are happy, not simply because they are being raised in a 2-parent household. Oh, and there's nothing wrong "Parrrrrr-tayyy" ing as long as you remember that "Parenting" comes first. GL
    pocmom

    Answer by pocmom at 11:47 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • if you are ready to party then leave your kids with your husband and move out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • If you are sure you want to be single you should be. I'm not saying choose you over your kids having a 2 person household but if your not happy your not doing them any favors. Think about what you really want and be honest with your husband.
    Keyonsmom

    Answer by Keyonsmom at 11:54 PM on Jun. 11, 2011

  • SOunds pretty toxic all around...Ijust ended my 9 yr relationship and he was kinda controlling but i just was not happy.... have not been happy and he wasn't willing to change so my kids and I are getting an apt. I did it for peace and to be a better mom.
    serenityspeaks

    Answer by serenityspeaks at 12:09 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Sorry your parting days are over!!

    You have kids and they must come first!!

    And not everyone gets to go wild thank God, that is when people make big mistakes.

    You both sound very immature and the kids will pay for your stupid mistakes.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 12:09 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • he's hurt and so are you. put yourself in his shoes and step back to see the bigger picture
    do you still love him?
    if so, you should go to couples counseling (it really works because it allows you too to talk without being interrupted)
    it's all about what you want. if you can't decide, think long and hard. flip a coin and see how you feel about it each time.
    do some journaling EVERYDAY! you'll find it will help you figure it all out, promise ;)

    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 12:49 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • no, just cuz your a mom and have a partner does not mean your partying days are over in my opinion.
    lizzybee44

    Answer by lizzybee44 at 12:51 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Becoming parents means it's not all you YOU anymore. You have been entrusted to raise healthy, well-adjusted children in a scary world. This doesn't mean that all fun has to cease, but that you need to find other couples your age that have children and want to enjoy an evening out going to dinner, a movie, a concert, whatever but, partying, getting drunk and the like are immature ways of having fun. Many young couples who are church members have joined young couples groups and help each other out by watching each others children so they can have "date night" and get away alone as a couple. There are so many ways that you can still have fun together in a mature, grown-up way. Your children will certainly benefit from this & so will your marriage!
    etexmom

    Answer by etexmom at 1:00 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • @ gammie... Wow, Rude... She is looking for help, not a barrage of insults... To the inquisitor, in answer to your question... Yes while you do have to think of your children, everyone makes mistakes. What I would do in this situation is to take the time to re-evaluate my relationship. Make a list of the pros, and cons in your relationship. But remember before you do that you have to try to let go of the silly and unnecessary arguments and look at the things that really matter.... For example, is he a good father? How are the two of you as a parental unit? Does your marriage provide a healthy and sturdy, reliable foundation and home for your children or for you. However, partying is not the best solution. Just do what you KNOW is best for your children AND for you.... I hope everything works out for you.
    FirstTimeMom224

    Answer by FirstTimeMom224 at 3:02 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • @ gammie.....wow how immature are u really??? Can u even read what the comment states, are u too busy getting slapped around, and staying on cafe mom giving bogus advice to satisfy ur meaningless life....just saying, and if u can't take it then don't dish it!!!! ANYWAYS, I totally agree with what FirstTimeMom224 has to say!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:43 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

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