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Why is the first years the hardest?

I am on my 2nd year of marriage..have a stepkid..new baby..ect.. How hard are these first couple of years..I have thought about walking already..Is that normal..?When ppl say the first years are the hardest..How hard do they get?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:15 PM on Dec. 11, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • girl trust me its hard! i think its because we are just realizing how are lives have really changed, just remember why you married him in the first place and if it was for love, then love will see you through, people and circumstances change, but the REAL meaning of love never will
    camtri3

    Answer by camtri3 at 12:58 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • i say its because your still getting to know each other. I know when i got married my hubby and i fought alot. We now have been married a little over nine years. It does get easier in time. Good luck
    kimi624

    Answer by kimi624 at 12:25 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • they get really hard. I came close to walking many times but am glad that I stuck it out. The first 3-5 years is when you are truely ironing out the process of combining your lives, and learning how to live with each other. Hang in there, it gets better, but this is a necessary learning curve. I swear they made the saying "I would kill him but I am running out of places to hide the bodies" because of how bad the begninning is.
    vbongard

    Answer by vbongard at 12:27 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • You are not only dealing with learning how to be married..you are dealing with the stressors of a new baby AND a stepchild. That is a lot. Take a deep breath , be patient and keep plugging away. When you stick with it and it works out the rewards will be boundless. It is hard. Marriage is hard work. Family is hard work. Times do get easier, then harder again and when your kids are teens you wonder if you'll survive. It is all quite normal. Any woman who has been married a while that says she hasn't at least contemplated walking at one time or another is lying or living in Fantasyland. I've been married 27 yrs. Have I thought about it..of course. Seriously...no. I'm married to the most terrific man on the planet...and somedays I STILL wanna ring his neck..lol. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. And don't forget to take care of YOU too.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:38 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH..BELIEVE IT OR NOT..YOU GIVE ME HOPE! I WAS A SINGLE MOM FOR 7 YEARS..HAD MY OWN PLACE..DATED..ECT HAD GOOD TIMES. THERE ARE DAYS WHEN I MISS THAT LIFE AND DAYS WHEN I WANT TO GO GET ANOTHER PLACE ON MY OWN. I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I KEEP THINKING ABOUT BEING SINGLE AGAIN?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I have mixed feelings on the subject, for me the first year and a half with my ex husband were bliss, the last year and half was hell and I'm amazed I made it out with my psyche in tact - well sorta in tact. However with my current boyfriend, the first time we dated we didn't last four months but now that we're back together it's been awesome. We've known each other for years now and remained close friends while I was with my husband. Now for my friend and her husband, the first year was the most difficult - they've been together a year and a half and she said so far since the first year mark it's been awesome.
    momof2inCT2007

    Answer by momof2inCT2007 at 2:02 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • too me no matter how hard it gets i would never walk out cause i know he was meant for me and i him. not that i haven't thought the single life was nice but heck marriage is not a fantasy as one thinks at first. it's hard work. i have only been married 8 months but i will still feel the same at the end when one of us dies. it a matter of the level of commitment you set for your marriage.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 2:05 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

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