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My boyfriend and I had our first child TOGETHER in Feb. He has a 5 year old by another woman and has full custody. I am supposed to act like her mom, but anytime I try to interveine (sp?) when she behaves badly, he and his family undermine me. It is causing a lot of grief with my relationship with my boyfriend AND his daughter. Any sugguestions as to how I could make him understand that I am just trying to fit into the family??

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Asked by lilymomma8808 at 12:17 PM on Dec. 11, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (15)
  • Simply. Step back let him and his family deal with her..Do absoluetly nothing for her..let him handle it all...My guess he will change his way of thinking.

    Answer by sydsmom2 at 12:21 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • WOW!! If they want you to act like a mom than you have the rights to discipline her when she is misbehaving, too. Sit down to your boyfriend. Really, it should be btw you and your man not his whole family, too. That shit sucks huh? I stay away from my cuz my hubby got one too but he is older.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:21 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I am sorry you are having problems. the sad truth is though that you will most likely never be able to disapline her. My stepmom was never able to disapline me, mainly because I refused to acknowledge her authority. she would just let my dad deal with any problems and when it got bad, I would be sent to my room until I was ready to behave or until he got home. Personally I wish she would have been more concerned with being my friend instead of my mom. as I saw it i already had a mom, what I really needed at that point was a friend in a house where I felt I was the odd man out becuase daddy loved another family instead of mine. silly i know, but that is how I felt.

    Answer by vbongard at 12:24 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Yes you will and you should beable to discipline her. You are older than her, she lives in your house and you all are a family. Talk to BF and nip in it the butt, cause if you don't that child will walk all over you. I discipline my BF's children .I discipline them in front of my BF, his parents, his sister, and even in front of their mother.

    Answer by Dannee at 12:47 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • do you two live together?

    Answer by camtri3 at 12:54 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I am sorry I just assumed you all live together...and even if you don't she (his daughter) still needs to respect you...

    Answer by Dannee at 12:59 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • You are NOT her mother. Stop trying to act like it. It's never going to change.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:14 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • I absolutely agree to the other replay, I think you should just sit back and chill, don't try so hard to fit in

    Answer by msjtwin at 1:17 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Boyfriend? You aren't even this little girls step-mother yet and already are stepping on toes. I hate to see what happens if you two ever get married.

    The best advise I can give you is stop. Let him deal with her. You have no right to dicipline her even if you were her step-mother.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

  • Don't listen to these people who probably do not have stepchildren or they are divorced because of the stepchildren..The fact is that one day you maybe her stepmom and guess what stepmoms deserve respect. Your BF has full custody to boot. You should beable to discipline her, if not you will never be respected by her.

    Answer by Dannee at 1:18 PM on Dec. 11, 2008

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