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Would you be mad?

You are out with your two boys and sister and every time one of the boys do something she speaks up and corrects them before you even have a chance to say anything.

She has no children of her own but she thinks she has the right(even if dad and I are right there) to discipline and correct them. It makes me so mad but I don't say anything to her. It is one thing if we aren't there but when we are I feel she doesn't have the right to say anything to them that she should let us correct them.

What do you think? Should I say something or just let it go? I feel even though she doesn't have any children of her own that she thinks she knows so much more about raising kids then I do and it makes me upset and mad that she feels she has the right to discipline my boys when I am right there.


Asked by Christmaslver68 at 8:22 AM on Jun. 12, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 47 (254,089 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Tell her its not her job and you will take care of your children.

    Answer by meooma at 1:33 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I only correct other people's kids after giving them plenty of time to do it themselves and seeing that they don't, and then usually only if they are about to get hurt. I will instantly correct a niece or nephew if they are injuring or about to injure my child. But if their parent(s) are present and delivering the discepline that is needed, I have nothing to say except "Good job!" to the parent(s). I think she is out of line, and I would talk to her about it. I am going to need to talk to my sister about this at some point (we spend very little time together, but that is going to change soon). She and my sister-in-law correct and discepline each other's kids all the time, usually with yelling. I do not yell at my son, and don't plan on ever having to. He is shy and gentle-hearted and is actually scared of both of them because they are both always yelling. I am not going to let somebody else scare him, related or not.

    Answer by alphamom26 at 8:55 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I would not think it is meant as a slam on your parenting. But do request familiy members do not redirect your children when you are present unless it is a safety issue. If your daughter is running towards a hot stove of course who sees it says to stop and grabs her. But of he kids are bickering in the car over a toy...the parent can get it. I explain to my family hearing all tge adults correcting at tge same time is harsh and hard to handle. Imagine hearing one directive from mom, another from dad, and aunt giving her directive too. Or worse, all yelling and giving a threat and punishment. And what is acceptable for you may not be so for the aunt. We all have our different peeves. It is not about her not having kids. It is about my kids hearing and following one correction at a time and not being jumped on from all directions. Mad, no. Annoyed, a little. Bit easily resolved.

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:57 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I'd tell her the if you and dh are there that she should leave it to you guys. Many people who don't have kids yet think they know what they are doing and don't even realize that you may not want them stepping in. I thought I knew it all before I had kids, so wrong!!!!! I knew to expect some things but not necessairly how to handle them.
    I'd find it upsetting especially if it's not how you and dh have decided to handle situations.
    Now sure if they're doing something and you are busy with one child and she see's the other doing something sure she can step in. If she see's them doing something dangerous then yes she should say something. Especially if you don't see it right away.

    Answer by AmandaH321 at 9:52 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I'd have a nice talk with her and share my feelings. Let her know you appreciate her concern, but that you'd prefer to discipline your own children when necessary and, hopefully, you or your husband do it promptly.


    Answer by rosiemendo at 10:15 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Yes, I would be mad. I'd let her know right away that it was not her place and that you don't want her doing it anymore.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 11:07 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I would speak up. I'd tell her that they are MY children, and that I don't appreciate her correcting my children- especially if hubby or I are right there (and see the incident happen). I would thank her for her concern, and ask that she leave the correcting to hubby and I. I would also thank her for her 'child rearing opinions' and tell her that hubby and I have our own way of parenting our children. I would also pointedly remind her that SHE does NOT have kids, so she really does not have the right to suggest parenting advice. Maybe when she has kids of her own and has "been there, done that" I would be more willing to listen to her 'advice'. Until then, back off and butt out!!!

    Answer by MizLee at 11:37 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Yes, i would be irritated, if not mad. I have had it happen to me, with a friend instead of a relative...I just say "Thanks, but I'll take care of it".

    Answer by boys2men2soon at 12:25 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Yes, it would make me mad. I only correct my niece if my sister is not right there to do it herself...except the last time I was there, she threw a football at me and almost hit me in the head....I said something then. Otherwise I let my sister and her husband parent their children.

    Answer by BridgetC140 at 1:20 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I am an Aunt to 7 (5 nephews 2 nieces), Great Aunt to 5 great nieces and 2 great nephews. So family gatherings can have quite a few kids running around. IF some of the kids do act up, I do not step in unless the parents are all out of the room and not seeing the incident. Then I will see what is going on (like if kids are fighting over a toy) talk to the kids involved and then take them to find mom/dad and alert mom/dad that there was a situation- and let mom/dad handle the correcting.
    The ONLY time I would actually correct them is if the kids were left in my care, and mom/dad were not at the gathering.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Jun. 12, 2011