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2 Bumps

Would you be mad?

You are out with your two boys and sister and every time one of the boys do something she speaks up and corrects them before you even have a chance to say anything.

She has no children of her own but she thinks she has the right(even if dad and I are right there) to discipline and correct them. It makes me so mad but I don't say anything to her. It is one thing if we aren't there but when we are I feel she doesn't have the right to say anything to them that she should let us correct them.

What do you think? Should I say something or just let it go? I feel even though she doesn't have any children of her own that she thinks she knows so much more about raising kids then I do and it makes me upset and mad that she feels she has the right to discipline my boys when I am right there.

 
Christmaslver68

Asked by Christmaslver68 at 8:22 AM on Jun. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 47 (254,089 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • I'd tell her straightout and straight forward. It's not her job they are my kids.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 1:31 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I would find a nice way to tell her she's stepping on my toes by jumping in like that when I'm right there.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 8:29 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Yeah, I don't believe anyone should disciplinary my kid unless I'm not there and I give them an okay to. I would have her over for coffee and talk to her a little about it. I would avoid saying anything when she does it and definitely avoid the "you don't have kids, so stay out of it" as those can lead to her becoming defensive and then you'll just have an argument on your hands.
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 8:31 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I agree with you.. My sister in law has two kids an one on the way an i have one... But she doesnt get on to her kids if they do something wrong an my son is around he gets in trouble an he gets a spanking for it...
    kiki637

    Answer by kiki637 at 8:32 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • say something, letting it go never solves anything, unless you hardly see her, but it sounds like u see her all the time. so u i would say somthing. just let her know that the parenting should be up to you and you dont like it when she gets involved and the kids dont like it either. i dont think she'll get mad, unless she's like usually uptight.
    fefe87

    Answer by fefe87 at 8:33 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • If you don't say anything, NO ONE benefits; you just continue to develop more and more resentment over it. If you do say something, she may get a little offended, but it should be better for your relationship in the long-term.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 8:38 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I'd say something. We have a friend (male) who does not have kids, and he is always correcting my kids. I have said something to him about it and he says, "Oh, well I am used to disciplining my nieces and nephews." I told him parents generally do not like other people, especially those w/out children, correcting their children. I told him if they a re hurting him or each other or are going to do something dangerous, sure, say something, but if one of my kids is fidgeting or doing something minor and he does not approve to either bring it to our attention or let them be. As parents, we try to chose our battles, but for someone who is around kids only sporadically, every little infraction seems major, so I can understand the need he has to try and correct them. He stops for a period of time and then goes right back to it and I have to remind him again. It's like having another child.
    mommy2aftan

    Answer by mommy2aftan at 9:10 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Tell her that you appriciate her helping you with the kids. but when your there to let you deal with the kids.Unless she sees that you need help with them. she should step in. gl.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 9:30 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Isn't it funny how those who don't have children know so much about them! Or those who are not married have so much marital advice! Lol! I would just sit her down and nicely tell her how u feel, and let her know that you appreciate her concern and would hope that if you were not there to correct the children then, and only then, would it be ok for her to say something, otherwise please leave it to you and your hubby.
    PANZONSMOM

    Answer by PANZONSMOM at 9:39 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Yep I would say something, I have made it clear no one tells my kids what to do but me or their daddy when we are there then if we aren't there the person in charge of them is the only one who has a right. But I wanna add people who have no kids or 1 young kid think they know more about parenting than anyone else especially the parents, I have been a mommy going on 12 years and I know there is a lot more for me to learn and I don't try to tell anyone how to raise their kids and all I would want is the same respect.
    momto4girzls

    Answer by momto4girzls at 9:43 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

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