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My brother and best friend are spending time criticizing me about how I raise my 9 month old baby girl and they do not have children. How do I handle them?

Just the other day at a family event my best friend was upset that my husband took my daughter out of a very warm room to a cooler room. She was hot and acting hyper (bothered) so he felt she needed to cool down. She than was talking about me to my family how she feels my husband is controlling and that my daughter would have been fine. Little did she know that prior to that event my daughter had a rough night sleeping due to teething and was not being herself. Not only that but she was not on her normal routine so she wasn't being herself. My daughter thrives when she's on her normal routine but sometimes we need to do step away from that routine in order to attend family events. My best friend see's her ever 2 months and thinks that she knows her well. She pretty much instigated my whole family in a nasty topic about me. Than a few days later we see my brother with his rottweiler. Mind you this dog is an aggressive dog so my husband wouldn't take the baby out of the car because he gets scared. Than my brother tells me that he now see's that my best friend was right about my husband being controlling. I told him that we are working thru my postpartum depression and anxiety. My husband is also going through PPA. I also told him that he has no idea how it is to raise a child or what is best for a child until he has his own. He says that he almost raised his wife's niece and use to spend 2-3 days a week with her. He says its awful for me to say that he has no idea how to raise a child. This man (my brother) has gone mad. I also told him that I use to be just like him, criticize people that had kids even before I had them and now that I have one I feel awful for doing that before. I know realize that every situation is different; no 2 children are alike. Now I feel like my best friend instigated this awful family drama and I am extremely irritated. I feel like I should just separate myself from her more and more. I see our relationship dissolving... I am heart broken that I have no support from a lot of my family as well as my best friend. How do I talk to them and help them understand that until they have children of their own they truly don't understand the thoughts and anxieties that go through their heads.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Jun. 12, 2011 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (12)
  • Best friend may not be a real friend at all. You might be right to distance yourself from her. As far as your brother goes tell him you will liv e as you see fit and he can do the same.

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 10:41 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • All you can say to them is what you told us. As far as gossiping to your family behind your back: are those the kinds of "friends" you need? Really...a family drama because you moved the baby. Really?

    Answer by BluDog at 10:42 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I'm with BluDog. I can't imagine anyone throwing a fit because you took a hot baby into a cooler room, or not taking a baby out of a car with an aggressive dog around. I wouldn't do either one either.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 10:45 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • My best friend was upset because she doesn't see my baby very often. She felt as if my husband was 'bogarding" the baby. She also said that there were other kids there too and they were fine.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:55 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Well your best friend isn't the momma.

    Answer by BluDog at 11:00 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • As for your BF she will figure it out when she has a kid and you can sit back and laugh knowing karma will get justice for you. If I were youi would be looking for new friends and you can stop calling her your best friend, she has yet to act like one! As for your family... well we cant pick our families but we can choose when we see them or if we see them. Join a small church and make a new family for yourself. Thats worked great for me. Good luck to you.

    Answer by Eko at 11:06 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • well sounds like you and your BF and brother use to share a lot in common, and that now that you have a kid of your own and realize it's not what you thought it would be, it's like karma coming back on you for it.. or you actions from the past put you into a situation you are now uncomfortable with because you know you were wrong back then. When your brother and friend get like this, just tell them.. wait until you have your own kid and you'll see.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:13 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • in the mean time I would try to find some other newer friends in the area that you now share more common interests with

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:13 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • sorry to say this but that is not a true friend, and I would be like this is my baby I am raising it not u.

    Answer by mommy_to_penut at 11:43 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Tell them when they have children they are allowed to raise them exactly as they see fit, just like you are raising yours exactly as you choose.

    Answer by meooma at 1:18 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

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