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Online outrage or real outrage?

Some of the reactions to debates are, to be polite, a bit over the top. Anything that remotely differs from how someone personally parents is immediately labeled abuse. People insist single incidents from their childhood (incidents that happened to everyone else as a course of growing up) scarred them for life and caused repeated trauma throughout their life. Everything from Santa to spankings has been cited as grounds for years of therapy and an argument to turn someone in to CPS.

Is this real outrage? Are people this passionate when talking to their parents, siblings and co-workers about the horrible suffering they've endured or think children around the world are suffering? Do they talk to the other moms at playgroup about how a bar of soap triggered a psychotic break that results in ongoing flashbacks 20 years later? Or is it just another pawn in the I'm perfect and you're not internet game? Have you ever met anyone in real life who advocates so passionately against any form of discipline or parenting practice for no other reason than they themselves don't use it?

Answer Question

Asked by NotPanicking at 10:39 AM on Jun. 12, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 51 (421,174 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I think it's online outrage. I don't think most people like that are brave enough to say the things out loud that they post here on CM.

    Answer by Vix920 at 10:52 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I like to think it's online. Otherwise, as a a society, we're doomed.

    Answer by LovingSAHMommy at 11:06 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I think it's a newer outrage online with a lot of people.

    There is one thing I can think of off the top of my head that I feel very strongly about and have no issues vocalizing here or anywhere else.. I don't like infant ear piercing, and yes that is a topic of debate I have gotten into with both friends and family because I feel that strongly against it. I don't feel a parent getting their infants ears done is abuse... I just feel they aren't properly informed on all the possible risks of getting them done. They see a girl with a bold head and think it will make them prettier, not realizing the risk of infections, deformation, etc that come with doing a child so young.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 11:23 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Has to be online because I have NEVER had anyone comment on my parenting in real life. Other than my idiot sil whose idea of parenting is "what happens at AJ's house stays at AJ's house." Her boys are constantly in trouble at school or with the law and have all sorts of issues. But she insists I'm the one doing it wrong because we have rules and punishments and expect our kids to behave (none have ever been in trouble at school or anywhere else and are constantly praised for how well behaved, thoughtful, respectful, etc they are).
    I've also never met anyone traumatized by how they were brought up except those actually abused. Like my mom. She was physically and emotionally abused by her mother but she used it to build her strength and was an amazing mother (she died in Aug 2000).

    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:58 AM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • People find it alot easier to be a little harsher ONLINE because they dont have to take responisbilty for what they are saying or handle the full reactions to those who read it. I think its more of a power thing personally, but thats just me. Some just want to make sure they are getting their point across, however I dont think its needed to act as if "I am right and you are wrong" no matter what! Thats whats annoying. Especially when you make your response anyonomous, man up..say it loud and own it :) Simple.

    Answer by MissyNewMama at 12:32 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • Its the anonymity of the online forum. People type things they would never have the nerve to say to someones face. I have had few IRL discussions about raising children that turned into anything more than a conversation, they have never turned into an outright heated debate.  I have also never met IRL any parent who is as perfect as many of the moms in this forum.


    Answer by meooma at 1:10 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I am a very intensely passionate person, so for me personally, it's real outrage. I am just as passionate IRL as I am on cafemom.

    Answer by Blue_Spiral at 2:52 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • In real life I keep my opinions to myself unless they are directly asked for. On cafe mom you are directly asking so I give it. My opinions and beliefs dont change between the two, but in real life it would be pretty tactless to go up to some random mom at the playground and hop on my soapbox....right?

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 4:58 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • A good post . I have never met, in real life, women as angry and abusive as those online , including cm . If they are the same in real life, I imagine they are avoided by normal people .

    Answer by janet116 at 5:23 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

  • I think most of us would like each other if we met in real life. That being said, I do think there are some crazees here who are so full of drama it is hard to believe that they aren't that way in person.

    Answer by lilangilyn at 6:22 PM on Jun. 12, 2011

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